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Song Parodies -> "Wimbledon Linesman"

Original Song Title:

"Wichita Lineman"

Original Performer:

Glen Campbell

Parody Song Title:

"Wimbledon Linesman"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

Now that we're into the second week at Wimbledon, I thought I'd clue you in to what really happens behind the scenes....
I am a linesman at the tennis, and my line of sight's clear
Starin' at that Miss Sharapova's lovely rear
I covet one or two desires; Williams gals ménage a trois
With this Wimbledon linesman in his hatchback car

I head on home to my dog Lendl, once the day's play's complete
And I dream of licking strawberries and cream off Lindsay's* feet
And I see them grunting, sweating, as their skirts lift in the breeze
And this Wimbledon linesman shouts out "new balls, please!"

I know fifteen-love's illegal, but I love the way they tease
As this Wimbledon linesman shouts out "new balls, please!"

* Davenport

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   12

User Comments

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AFW - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Great title and idea..maybe a little edgy pacing, here and there..but fives for ya'
Johnny D - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Advantage Kristof. Game. Set. Snatch. I mean Match.
alvin rhodes - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
FIFTEEN...cause i LOVE it
Paul Robinson - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
What, I didn't know "Aqualung" (the one from the Jethro Tull song) was now a Wimbledon lines judge.
Rick C - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Lobbing some 5s your way. I can just picture the Williams gals in a hatchback!
Leo J - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Great idea, funny stuff.
Steve K. - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
You get 3 sets of 5's. Did McEnroe ever yell at you?
Kristof Robertson - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
AFW: Thanks, dude...I had to rely on sketchy memory of the tune and a lyric sheet.

JD: hurhurhurhur...

Alvin: *groan* ;-) Thanks, mate

Paul: Not being a Tull fan, you'll have to explain you're reference, buddy!

Rick: So can I,'s a bit of a scary-a** picture!

Leo: Cheers, pal!

Steve: He's here at the moment. Since I'm only 5 minutes from Wimbledon, I'm hoping to catch him for a pint in the pub. ;-)
Paul Robinson - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Kristof - "Aqualung" (in the album of same name) is an old, degenerate (possibly homeless) man whose main amusement seems to be leering at little girls ("Watching as the pretty panties run")- the album is mostly about him - and how society perceives and treats him...I found it a very thought-provoking work when I first heard it (1970)...and it probably still is...
Royce Miller - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
I think Jimmy Webb would get a kick out of it; I know I did.
Peter Andersson - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Have you been snorting those white lines and the grass again Kristof?
Dee Range - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Fifteen-love may be illegal...unless you're King Of The Ho's. Share the Sharapove a menage with her, Anna Kournholakova, and me, with a weeks worth of Cialis. High 5's mate
Michael Pacholek - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Tennis? What do Australians know about tennis? (Uh-oh, I'm gonna have to leave a big honkin' tip on my next visit to Outback Steakhouse.) This parody was like Bjorn Borg: Resistance is futile. (Wonder if that'll inspire somebody to write one?)So, how exactly are you going to get yourself and both Williams sisters in a hatchback? Especially with Serena's own bodacious hatchback? Actually, I think a lot of men hate Maria Sharapova. By winning Wimbledon at 17, she exposed Anna Kournikova for the fraud that she was and is.
John Jenkins - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Short, but there is certainly enough there to set the imagination running. And I suppose you should be commended for not using the obvious Kournikova fantasies and using Lindsay Davenport instead.
Stuart McArthur - June 29, 2005 - Report this comment
A threesome with the Williamses is physically impossible - beds only go to King Size - although rolling out a mat in a gym would work - fantastic funny idea, Kristof, but why did you have to put Lindsay in there? - 555

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