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Song Parodies -> "Check Baud Rate"

Original Song Title:

"On Broadway"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

George Benson

Parody Song Title:

"Check Baud Rate"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

Why can't I be on sites tonight, check baud rate, (check baud rate *)
My IP's always static, could not err.
It could be MS office suite,
I think it's bad I'll just delete!
Don't bother Microsoft 'cause they don't care.

I think the modem's heat just fried its baud rate, (check baud rate)
Hey looky dat gam, now my screen's all blue.
I like how microsoft tells time,
Download's two minutes forty nine,
When ends the time they just rewind your queue.

They say when loading takes too long, check baud rate. (check baud rate)
I think the gateway bus is blown, no small wait.
But I cain't get no air thus far,
My favorite site is Air Guitar.
But it can't quit, move that time bar, check baud rate. (check baud rate)

It can't quit, it's gone too far, check baud rate. (check baud rate)

Check baud rate (check baud rate)
Check baud rate (check baud rate)
Check baud rate (check baud rate)
* Baud Rate:noun: (computer science) a data transmission rate (bits/second) for modems

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   8
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User Comments

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Johnny D - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
THIS old computer-fart used to use a 300 baud printing Dec-Writer terminal on M.I.T.'s Multics system (an early ancestor of Unix) back in the 70's. 555 baud for this, Guy.
John Barry - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Baudy, not bawdy. 555 baud from me too.
Guy - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks JD and John. I got wrapped around the axel with the URL I put in and forgot to put the line in that was the reason for it in the first place. The line goes:

My favorite site is Air Guitar

But what it should have said was

I like to play on Air Guitar

Doh! And JD I used to compile Cobol on paper tape using a dial up remote with a real rotary phone dial on it using something like a mod 28 teletype machine. This was all the school would provide way back then. I would have killed for a DECWriter or even an LA36, punch cards, anything but that, but I do believe this was even before the LA36.
alvin rhodes - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
baud rate is first rate
Adagio - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
I still like the part that says:

I like how microsoft tells time,
Download's two minutes forty nine,
When ends the time they just rewind your queue.

I identify with this. Weird d/l !!
Good job...5's
AFW - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Techy and Tricky.....Glad I logged on to it...top votes
Rex - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
You really modem down with this one! I'm sure glad I've got a great baud.
Red Ant - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Ahhh! COBOL is the answer! From what I know it's a bass ackwords programming language with sloppy syntax and a general PITA to work with. DKTOS, so no vote.
Bill Gates - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Mr Ant, can you tell me in four words or less what COBOL stands for and what language it mostly simulates? I will give $200.00 to anyone who can and $50.00 to everyone that you email this question to. Bonus of $25.00 if you can explain what working storage is in a COBOL program.
Michael Pacholek - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow. That this Leiber-Stoller classic can be twisted into a computer song is amazing enough. That you can come so close to the original words and make an entirely different point is astounding. One of your very best, Guy. Serious Parody of the Year candidate.
Red Ant to Bill Gates - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
COmmon Business Oriented Language. Developed in the late 50's ( 58 or 59 I think ). Language simulated: English. Fork over those 200 bucks Mr. Gates, it still works today but has flaws. And being how Microsoft software ( i.e. Windows ) has flaws as well, I think you should give me some more money for having to put up with it. You can e-mail me at RedAnt@Idontcareaboutyou.com
Michael Pacholek - April 01, 2005 - Report this comment
What's next? "Wonder, Will Baud Work" to "Under the Boardwalk"?
Geek Central - October 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Baudacious!

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