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Song Parodies -> "The Man Who We Knew As Jack Palance"

Original Song Title:

"The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance"

Original Performer:

Gene Pitney

Parody Song Title:

"The Man Who We Knew As Jack Palance"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

In memoriam, 1919-2006. Seemed appropriate to use a Western movie theme for him. That, and there aren't many words that rhyme with "Palance," though there are several that rhyme with "Jack."
(instrumental opening)

When the actor Jack Palance came on the screen
the womenfolk would hide.
They'd hide.
Because a villain would was usually
the role and trade he plied.

And the point of a gun was the only law
in "Shane" that he understood.
But he faced a man named Alan Ladd.
Evil lost to good.

Volodymyr Palahnyuk, was his name
when he was born
that morn.
In 1919, in Pennsylvania
so poor and so forlorn.

And the lure of the film was the only call
Palahnyuk understood.
When came to working on a dream
a coal mine was no good.

Many a man was a Western star.
And many of them stood tall.
The man who we knew as Jack Palance
we knew him as Jack Palance
he was the coolest of them all.

On Broadway, he followed Brando in
"A Streetcare Named Desire."
Good hire.
Played Jekyll & Hyde, Attilla the Hun
and Dracula with fire.
But the films of the West were the only way
this fella we understood.
When it came to horses, guns and hats
he was mighty good.

"Ripley's Believe It Or Not" he'd host
an Eighties TV show
then, whoa!
For "City Slickers" at 73
to him, Oscar did go.
'Cause the secret of life is "Just One Thing"
which by the end Crystal learned.
When Jack took the stage with one-hand push-ups
glory had returned.

Heavyweight had his requiem
but when great actors we call
the man who we knew as Jack Palance
we knew him as Jack Palance
he was the coolest of them all.

The man who we knew as Jack Palance
we knew him as Jack Palance
he was the coolest of them all.
And to anyone who votes this a one, in the words of the immortal Jack Palance, "I crap bigger than you!"

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Yoidy - November 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Very moving tribute - 555. I wonder if Jack and Charles Bronson hung out together because Bronson also came from a mining family. Palance was a great underrated actor.
TJC - November 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Very nice... I agree with Yoidy... would like to award you fifteen one-armed push-ups!
alvin rhodes - November 20, 2006 - Report this comment
loved his work...loved yours too
PMS - November 20, 2006 - Report this comment
555 lovely tribute
AFW - November 20, 2006 - Report this comment
I enjoyed this tribute to one of my old favorite actors...5's

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