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Song Parodies -> "This Girl Is A Human Cow"

Original Song Title:

"This Girl Is A Woman Now"

Original Performer:

Gary Puckett & The Union Gap

Parody Song Title:

"This Girl Is A Human Cow"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

OS lyrics here.
This girl had a dream:
Sporting two big jugs of her own
This girl, like a child,
Was feeling she's not quite fully grown
Then one day, her chest was changed
Her mammaries were re-arranged
And she would never feel short-changed again

This girl is a human cow
Though not bona fide
This girl is a bloomin' cow
How they pout, proudly jutting out
And she's leaning, preening with pride

This girl wanted love
Her fenders, though, were so forlorn
She cried; her double A's
Would never let her star in porn
Long-longed: lungs that lust, incite
And underneath the surgeon's light
Mosquito bite died
An udder had been born

This girl's chest is boomin' now
She sports huge divide
This girl is a human cow
Tiny sprout now can carry clout
And she's cooing, mooing with pride

This girl's boobs are loomin' now
Huge urns, side by side
This girl is a human cow
So darn wide, they about collide
Sees heads turning, yearning; burning with pride!

This girl is a human cow...
(repeat, but instead of fading, keep getting bigger and bigger...)


© 2007 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   2
 2
 2
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - October 01, 2007 - Report this comment
odd mental imagery....i pretty much detest all gary puckett songs...nice tampering
AFW - October 01, 2007 - Report this comment
The theme of milk maid this top the bucket...most descriptive and spot on with singability
John Barry - October 01, 2007 - Report this comment
I tittered.
TT - October 01, 2007 - Report this comment
alvin, thanks... AFW (lol), thanks... John Barry, (lol), thanks.
Guy - October 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Cowabunga this was certainly interesting. My uncle was a farmer and he had a diary cow with five teats. I'm giving you one teat from this cow for each of the five categories of voting stats. Utterly off beat and that is a good thing.
2Eagle - October 01, 2007 - Report this comment
It's about time somebody mangled The Union Gap.
PMS - October 01, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm with alvin and 2Eagle.
Below Average Dave (badave.com) - October 01, 2007 - Report this comment
She cried; her double A's Would never let her star in porn. . . :) Awesome. I mean truly awesome. The title alone made me crack up. . ."So darn wide, they about collide" was kick @$$ line too
T**** Turtle - October 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Guy, thanks... I'll treasure them :)
2Eagle, sharp eyes you have -- this is indeed first parody of TOS here. Thanks.
PMS, you need to find better company :-) thanks!.. anc check your pms, PMS.
Below Average Dave, thanks much :)
MrMacphisto - October 01, 2007 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but I give it 5-5-5 for the humor... this was great.. :)
TJC - October 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Udderly enchanting... goes straight for the jug-ulars. This and you're (just kidding... 'your') Wanderer parody form a perfectly matched, er.... set! Now, if only I could figure out how to vote 5's in base 90210!
TT - October 01, 2007 - Report this comment
MrMacphisto, thanks...
TJC, thanks for the support!
Biscuit Boy - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Good job! I always thought this song a bit odd-- in the original, did the girl get laid for the first time, and is now a woman? Or did she celebrate her first menstrual cycle? I'm kinda waiting for the follow-up, 'This Boy is a Man Now'...
Tommy Turtle - June 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Biscuit Boy, I think the line in the original,
"Our hearts told us we were right" implies loss of virginity. For the other event, see "Got A Tampon, Please" http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/abba130.shtml. Thanks for the vote and comment!

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