And now, my cage I've sprung
No iron bars, could e'er hold Lechter
That guard, tender and young,
My egg-fu lung, I'll dissect her!

I've missed, two legged beef
I used to stalk, at TG Friday's
Now for, comic relief
I'll eat some wry gays!

Buffoons, I've had a few;
I should've spewed Spade--never swallowed
I chewed some funny Jews
And Mormons too, filleted and hollowed.

Then dined on Rosie "O'
You'll never guess now how much I weigh
They go, well with Merlot
I ate that wry gay!

Yes there were mimes, Marcel Marseau
Ellen was next, and during her show
Been through "em all, yes even the louts
Ewww! Carrot Top—man I spit him out!
Then Ebert's tripe—that plump cliché
Haggis sup-ply gay!

I've fed, on half-wit prey
I've had my fill, and grew restive
My new, select buffet
Of Sapphic wags, "tis more festive

Out-thought, then ate them up
They were beguiled, by all my sly praise
The best, I ever supped
Were all those wry gays!

For I am that man, who eats what he caught
His leather face thing, all covered in clot
Feeding on folks, those silent lambs
My gothic take--on Atkin's plan
The platter shows, I did dispose
Of all those wry gays!