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Song Parodies -> "Do You Feel Old Tonight"

Original Song Title:

"Are You Lonesome Tonight"

Original Performer:

Elvis Presley

Parody Song Title:

"Do You Feel Old Tonight"

Parody Written by:

James Squire

The Lyrics

I can't take all the credit for this one - I had an email sent to me with a bare outline for the theme and I took it and ran with it, changing about 50% - 75% of it. I wish I knew who the original author was. Any clues???
Do you feel old tonight? Is your ulcer alight?
Do you have on your long underwear?
Does your memory stray to that long distant day
When you had all your teeth and your hair?
Is your memory blurry? Forgetting odd things?
The phone's in the freezer, your keys in the bin.
Does your back give you pain? Do your knees predict rain?
Tell me dear, do you feel old tonight?

Is your blood pressure high? Cataracts in the eye?
Are you eating your prunes and your bran?
All that high fibre fruit Metamucil to boot
And you don't dare go far from the can
Are your waterworks leaking? You don't dare to sneeze
Are your hot flushes making you long for a breeze?
So your gallbladder's gone, but the wind lingers on
Tell me dear, do you feel old tonight?

Now the romance has fled, without Viagra it's dead
He knows where it's at what's it for?
When you turn out the light, he goes left, you go right
Then you get his great baritone snore
He once was romantic, so witty and smart
Now he's become such a cranky old fart
But don't feel so bad, you could always be dead
Tell me dear, do you feel old tonight?

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   3
 4   7
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Paul Robinson - August 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, James, with your forthright note on the authenticity issue I don't see any reason why this shouldn't be considered your piece now. You got a portion of the idea from another, who did not put a name on it. We all get portions of ideas from other sources, I think. Good's the only one of your submissions today where I really know the OS...5's ~ ~ ~
Michael Pacholek - August 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, considering I was born when "Suspicious Minds" was on the charts... sometimes I do feel old.
Gina - August 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Man, I can't believe how funny you are. I think I'm in love! AMAZING!
Yet Another Dutchman - August 02, 2005 - Report this comment
This was a great parody. To the person who's written the concept, much praise, but given that you changed 50-75%, a lot of it belongs to you, James. There's one thing missing, though: the talking bit of Elvis. "you know, someone said that the world's a stage and BWAHAHAHA!" Oh, wait, that last part is from a different version.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - August 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Very funny, though maybe I have the wrong version cos I thought it only paced in parts. And let me introduce you to Claude Prez' ultimate take on this subject:
Susan - November 10, 2017 - Report this comment
really funny

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