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Song Parodies -> "Pishing and Moping"

Original Song Title:

"Wishing And Hoping"

Original Performer:

Dusty Springfield

Parody Song Title:

"Pishing and Moping"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

A little relationship advice from an expert. (I must be an expert on relationships -- I've had hundreds of 'em!) Sort of the "antidote song" to the many "gross guy" parodies here, including yours truly's. Both the OS lyrics and Midi are here -- how cool is that?
Pissin' and fartin' and stinkin' and sprayin'
Scratchin' and creamin' too soon at each chance
That won't get you into her pants

So, if you're lookin' to find "love" she will share
All you gotta do is
Hold it and squelch it and stuff it
And wear clean underwear

You gotta show her that you care just for her
Put the seat down when you're through
Wash your hair once for her
'Cause...
You won't get her
Stinkin' and a-sprayin'
Pissin' and a-fartin'

Just pissin' and fartin' and stinkin' and sprayin'
Scratchin' and beamin' at ev'ry young tart
That won't get her virtue to part

So, if you're lookin' to find skin creamy, bare
All you gotta do is
Hold her; don't dis her, disease her, or tease her,
Yeah, just please her, and after you do:
Your turn to jizz

You gotta show her that you care just for her
Pick up socks; get your own beer
Moon, don't bare, just for her
'Cause....
You won't get her
Watchin' porn a-tapin'
Thumpin' chest and apin'

Just pissin' and fartin' and stinkin' and sprayin'
Rammin' and reamin' without kiss at start
Your genes won't through her jeans impart

Dare stare: mare... bear-in' rare pair; fair... derr-i-ere
All you gotta do: Not --
-- Scold her; cajoled: her; behold her, enfold her
Yeah, give gold: her, and drown her in furs
You will be hers
You will be hers
You... will... be... hers!


Do as I say, not as I do. © 2006 Tommy Turtle.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Adagio - April 21, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL! I loved all the word play, too many to mention, but here's an example: "Dare stare: mare... bear-in' rare pair; fair... derr-i-ere". Good advice for males in heat, hope they take it seriously. Or else... 5's
Adagio - April 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Looks as if I had forgotten to vote, but I voted tis time.
Paul Robinson - April 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Is that why that last girlfriend gave me that vibrator back? Jeez, NOW he tells me...5's & LOL...~ ~ ~
alvin rhodes - April 21, 2006 - Report this comment
good advice for the puberty-stricken
carol - April 21, 2006 - Report this comment
(snickers) well said & done 5's
AFW - April 21, 2006 - Report this comment
This is definitely good advice...in fact..this version should be performed at weddings...5's
Dr. TT - April 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Adagio, thanks, they probably won't lol... Paul (lol), alvin (lol) carol, thanks... AFW, thanks; now there's a cool idea!!! Cut the divorce rate, I could retire on the royalties... How do we make that a law? (and in all fairness, can we sing to the brides "Prudish Little Girl"? http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/theshirelles9.shtml (you've already seen it).
Rick C - April 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Are you SURE they don't like all this stuff? LOL! 555
Larry Hensley - April 22, 2006 - Report this comment
How romantic, 5's
Women Are From Venus, Turtle From Uranus - April 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Rick C: So they usually tell me as they walk out the door... thanks! Larry Hensley, thanks... sing it to your gf and watch her swoon lol :)
Red Ant - April 22, 2006 - Report this comment
"Yeah, just please her, and after you do..", TT you are a gentlemen, and from the same school as I, and learned the golden rule: Ladies come first, heh heh. I misread "and drown her in furs" as "and drown in her fur", which isn't a bad thing. 5s.
2Eagle - April 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Funny version of another co dependent song from the Co dependent Queen.
TT - April 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Red Ant, thanks; you know what they say, "Nice guys finish last"... I always try to heh heh.... 2Eagle, thanks.
Peregrin - October 09, 2012 - Report this comment
Words of wisdom indeed! I think the funniest thing about all this is that Dusty wouldn't have cared a jot, because she wasn't gonna be in that situation anyway!
Tommy Turtle - October 09, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregrin: Thanks indeed!
Yes, I suppose there's some irony there, but what about all the gay leading men, like Rock Hudson, etc.? ... Lesley Gore didn't come out until 2005, but she sang typical teen girl-boy love ballads like "It's My Party". Fairly common in show biz.

Besides, Dusty isn't the beneficiary of the advice; it's the reader's lady who benefits. ;-D (Many thanks anyway!)

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