You're a Ferengi, Mr. Quark.
You're really are a pig!
You're as cuddly as a Horta,
You're as charming as the Borg.
Mr. Quark,
You're an M-13 salt monster
With a greasy pet Slorg!

You're a monster, Mr. Quark.
Your heart's a big black hole.
Your brain is full of Tribbles,
You've got Khan's own very soul.
Mr. Quark,
I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine light year pole!

You're a vile one, Mr. Quark
You have nanites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick Suliban.
Mr. Quark,
Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick Suliban!

You're a foul one, Mr. Quark.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is like the Klingons,
Your soul is full of Q.
Mr. Quark.

The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Pe-yugh!"

You're a Romulan, Mr. Quark.
You're just as bad as Lor!
Your heart's a rotten bottle
of bad Klingon ale,
Mr. Quark.

Your soul is an apalling space dump overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You disgust me, Mr. Quark.
With a gale of super gust!
You're a crooked Andorian
And you run a crooked bar.
Mr. Quark.

You're a three decker radioactive waste
sandwich
With arsenic sauce.