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Song Parodies -> "Fridge Stalker"

Original Song Title:

"Witch Doctor"

Original Performer:

David Seville / Alvin & The Chipmunks

Parody Song Title:

"Fridge Stalker"

Parody Written by:

TJC

The Lyrics

I always was a sucker for syrupy songs...

Here's a link to my favorite version: YouTube

I am the Fridge Stalker who lives on snacks, it’s true
I am the Fridge Stalker whose snack attack is due
And now this Fridge Stalker hears Hostess® went *Ka'BLOO’*!
There’s no more...

(Chorus)
Sno Balls, Suzi Q’s
Cup Cakes, Mini Muffin, Fruit Pies
Twinkies, Coffee Cakes,
HoHos, Zingers, Donettes, Ding Dongs!

Sno Balls, Suzi Q’s
Cup Cakes, Mini Muffin, Fruit Pies
Twinkies, Coffee Cakes,
HoHos, Zingers, Donettes, Ding Dongs!


My fellow Fridge Stalkers’ fear Hostess® highs are through
My fellow Fridge Stalkers are startin’ to unglue
We’re starvin' Fridge Stalkers whose larded carb’s adieu!
We’re stuck with...

(Chorus:)
Mars bars, Mike & Ike, Sweet Tarts
Little Debbie, Pop Rocks
Twizzlers, M&M’s,
Milk Duds, Abba Dabba, Pix Stix!

Mounds bars, Junior Mints, Rolo
Raisinettes n’ Ring Pops
Werthers, Almond Joy,
Nerd Rope, Necco, Hershey, Kit Kat!


Well, I’m so sick of sucky sweets
I’m spendin’ all my money
To hoard the last that Hostess® ever baked
I got a truck and bought what’s left
And here’s the best part, Honey
They don’t expire ‘til *twenty eighty-eight*!


But now this Fridge Stalker is feelin’ awful blue
‘Cause now this Fridge Stalker’s blood sugar’s through the roof
It seems this Fridge Stalker has Diabetes II
Now I eat...

(Chorus:)
Fat-free cyclamates, sacch’rine
Sugar Twin and Equal
Splenda, Sweet-n-Low,
Sweet One, NutraSweet n’ Sweet Twin!

Fat-free cyclamates, sacch’rine
Sugar Twin and Equal
Splenda, Sweet-n-Low,
Sweet One, NutraSweet n’ Sweet Twin!

~

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   9
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Welcome back!
AFW - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
I sort of liked you're "Stuck With" list better than the Hostesses...nice ironic ending
Leough - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
555! Great title switch and execution! Welcome back, and hope the last part isn't true.
Jonathan - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
LOL! everybody keeps saying "no more twinkies!" it's the zingers I'm worried about dang it! 555
Meriadoc - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
I laughed. Especially at the first chorus.
TJC - December 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Massive calorie-laden loads of thanks out to:

—John (Aaron 'Spelling no more?! Thanks!),
—AFW (always knew you had good taste!),
—Leough (appreciate it—and I don't think so...I'm holding out for something better, like type V or VI !),
—Jonathan (gracias... I was always partial to Ding Dongs... loved the onomatoeatit, I guess!), and...
—Meriadoc (thank you, m'lady—turns out those lazy dogs barely made enough unique items to make a chorus!).
Lifeliver - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Sweet subbing. This calls for a fractured quote from Bilbo: ' I dont know half of them as well as I should like and I like less than half of them as little as they deserve'. 555 calories is your limit for today. I can just hear the Chipmunks on those choruses.
TJC - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks so much, LL...I'm a big fan of your erudite style n' wit.
LilFridgeHo - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment
cute, Sir ! . . . always have a yen for Fridge lites . . .
Dave W. - December 06, 2012 - Report this comment
A fridge full of folly does make one jolly
TJC - December 07, 2012 - Report this comment
LFH & DW... Thanks for stoppin' by! The more I think about it, Hostess never made a product that required refrigeration. You could leave a Twinkie on your car's dash in Death Valley for a week and it wouldn't alter a single molecule!
Stevia - December 09, 2012 - Report this comment
Hey, how come I got left out of the sugar subs? My glycoside extracts have up to 300x the sweetness of sugar, and have a negligible effect on blood glucose!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stevia

Admire the ardent research that clearly went into this song. The things one must do in the name of science -- and parody. ;) Well, it's a dirty, rotten job, but thank Goodbar we have you to do it for us, and with such clever wordsmithery to boot. (E. g., to your booty. )
  With any luck, by the time ur-ine dialysis, Ocare will cover it, but in the meantime, here's $555 for a trunk of junk (and take that both ways, heh!)
Aye TJCeewhatudidthere! - December 09, 2012 - Report this comment
I thank youuu for your biochemical feedback loopyness, Stevia*

*―You are indeed Sweetness & Lite!

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