-> "Red Hot Mainframe"
Original Song Title:
"Hot Rod Lincoln"
Parody Song Title:
"Red Hot Mainframe"
My boss said, son, what the hell were you thinkin'?
What could I say, I just sat there a blinkin'."
This here's the story 'fore the silicon race
When DEC and Big Blue were settin' the pace
This story's 'bout Blue in its heyday
And all the others long gone away
Way on back in hist'ry when old blue was on top
And Model 360s were the cream of the crop
Had Oxi cylinder drives, wall to wall
It was oversize, not real small
With each core the size of a telephone booth
Had four hugh banks that went on through the roof
It used all the mem'ry none to spare
Had break keys set, wires bare
Pullin' a graveyard shift 'bout midnight
All the nixie tubes were burnin' white
Them RP drives was gettin' shrill
And readin' in cards, you know the drill
Just all of a sudden it's computin' Pi
The RP drives just went to stand-by
What's that noise, What calamity?
Why then is the check light all you can see?
The system boys got on the defense
All these anomalies just don't made no sense
Said power down, no job slots
That lineprinter was just printin' dots
Now RIB errors were a mountin' diagnostics did find
The analog tape began to rewind
Took my hands off the console reset the drive
When the system SPO began to spew jive
Never seen on the old DEC-10
Job termination codes just said "ABEND"
I yelled code blue, and that cleared the floor
Told the an'lyst we gotta clear core
Like Jack Horner pullin' a plum
Stuck my finger somewhere dumb
My teeth were a clickin' saw heav'nly hosts
Swear that 'lectric jolt brought the Holy Ghost
Smoke was comin' from out of the racks
Then I yelled y'all step back, don't need no hacks
Knew we would catch it, I wish this would pass
Wish I'd paid 'tention in that hardware class
Flames began a fillin' the room inside
When the halon burst, hey, run outside!
I said get out boys we are all a gonna die
That halon shooter will suck the air dry
All of a sudden doors started lockin'
The big mainframe stopped doin' it's clockin'
I looked through the window; red lights were a blinkin'
The computer room began to start a stinkin'
I attested see to explain what failed
The warranty card never got mailed
And they said there son, what the hell were you thinkin'?
What could I say, I just sat there a blinkin'.
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