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Song Parodies -> "Because You Drugged, Thugged, And Mugged Me"

Original Song Title:

"Because You Loved Me"

Original Performer:

Celine Dion

Parody Song Title:

"Because You Drugged, Thugged, And Mugged Me"

Parody Written by:

Mike Armstrong

The Lyrics

This song is meant to be a stirring tribute by Whitney Houston to her husband Bobby Brown.
For all the times you stood by me
When my coke dealer had to flee
For all the blood you brought to my nose
For all the times we ditched our shows

For all the dreams we drowned in pot
And all the legal help we sought
I'll be forever greatful, Bobby
You're the one who showed me speed
I swear it helped me live
Heroin was simply our PAROGATIVE =)


You were my drug-addicted friend
You were my abusive husband
You slammed my fingers in a door
And then you said I was a whore
Beat me within an inch of death
When you were buzzed on crystal meth
I'm everything I am because you drugged me.

You beat me with a wooden plank
When I took money from the bank
You threw our daughter into the pool
Oh, Bob, you broke the golden rule

Acid nightly became a must
When New Edition was a bust
Ungrateful for the scars you gave me
Bobby, I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I will spend my whole adult life... black and blue

*chorus* ... because you thugged me

You were such a scary fool
Every time you lost your cool
My face in the trunk... bound up and gagged all through the night
I felt such liberation... when I left you for a while
Now you're sitting in a chair.... on trial!

*chorus* ... because you mugged me

*chorus* ... because you drugged, thugged, mugged me

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 52

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   1
 3   3
 4   8
 5   37

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Saider E. - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) this was funny. Poor Whitney : (
Charlie Decker - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) 47 votes and only 1 comment? That's almost as sad as this "relationship." 5s.
Mike (Mike Armstrong) - April 01, 2005 - Report this comment
This one came out before comments were up, back in 2002 - so it's been around a while.
Jordan (Mike Armstrong) - April 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Extra apologies for the spelling of perogative. Young and stupid... ahh the good ole days.
cop - April 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey, Jordan (Mike Armstrong), how about telling me why you filed it under 60s? That's dead wrong.
Jordan - April 05, 2005 - Report this comment
I honestly have no clue. Sorry you found it so offensive. :-)
Adagio - April 05, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC 2005) DKTOS Good read.
Agrimorfee - April 06, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Ew. This one made me a little uncomfortable.
Guy - April 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-B) DKTOS - Gritty and graphic.
Scathe - April 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-B) Jeez, this is was pretty cold-hearted, but hilarious.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 09, 2005 - Report this comment
One of those parodies you cringe at chortling over. Well written.
Melhi - April 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(aBc) ROFLMAO! Great job, guys!
Stuart McArthur - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) "so why don't you leave him?" "because I LOVE him (sob)" - gimme a break - nice job Mike
Johnny D - April 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Great parody of Saline Scream-on!
Kristof Robertson - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC)This is dark, dark ,dark, Mike!! But very well written
Phil Alexander - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Ouch... incidentally, did you mean "prerogative", or "purgative" (it's just that heroin actually has the opposite effect, if you see what I mean) ;-)
Jeff Reuben - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Poor Bobby =)
"You Have Mail" - April 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Check your PMs on messageboard.

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