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Song Parodies -> "Vet Song"

Original Song Title:

"Jet Song"

Original Performer:

Cast, 'West Side Story'

Parody Song Title:

"Vet Song"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

How do you make a song about gang violence even grosser? Read on.
When you're a Vet, you're a vet all the way
From the first sickly pet
To the last one you spay
When you're a Vet you must do what you can
You must tend to a hound
When he's bit by a man
You splint up a bone
Or clean a wound infected
You put on a cone
So stitches are protected
And well inspected
And you can bet that the owners all pay
For there's nothing like pets: "Is my fluffy okay?"
When you're a vet they pay a VET!
Now I know Money like I know pee
And I charge a fee for old Rin-Tin-Tin
Birds, rats, let's get healin'
Where you gonna find old Waldo?
In the park tonight, getting lost
And he's markin' his territory
I'm gonna make dough with him,
I'm only gonna clean up squirrel bites
So listen, everybody dress white and gloved
And greet wealthy morons at ten
And charge high!
We always charge high!
We're Vets! The richest!
When you're a Vet you see most cats in town
Only the ones that aren't squished or run down
When you're a Vet you're the ailin' beast king
Little pup, you're a dog! Sorry, I cut that thing
The room in the back
Is where we keep the meat in
The bodies we stack
Their little hearts stopped beatin'
But sure good eatin'!
We are the Vets get a cat feelin' well
Sometimes owners won't pay, it's off to Taco Bell
We are the Vets!
Little mutt, come inside
Might just wind up as ground
Bigger dog, bigger hide!
We say they'll be fine
As long as we are able
Extending the time
Before they're on the table
We are the Vets, bleah!
And we're gonna make every last dollar bill
Or else wind up with meat!
On the whole grain bread, the sourdough or wheat1

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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John Barry - December 08, 2005 - Report this comment
I vetted this and gave it high fives.
Michael Pacholek - December 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Too many songs get fives simply because they're cute or witty, but with this one, let's call a spayed a spayed: Five Milk-Bones. (Or should that be five Scooby Snacks?)
Phil Alexander - December 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, you know what they say about great minds thinking alike: :-)

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