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Song Parodies -> "Itsy-Bitsy Puppet Shtup-It, Blackmail Scheme That’s Run by Muppets!"

Original Song Title:

"Itsy-Bitsy Teenie-Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini"

Original Performer:

Brian Hyland

Parody Song Title:

"Itsy-Bitsy Puppet Shtup-It, Blackmail Scheme That’s Run by Muppets!"

Parody Written by:

TJC

The Lyrics


Have you wondered why perenial penny-pincher, PBS, is suddenly flush with cash?
Well, wonder no more!
YouTube, original Hyland version

~ Felt, hump, fist, pump - the Muppets kneed your junk! ~

There are those who - say Muppets - are schlockers (what a joke!)
‘Aging icons’ - that PBS shills (‘cause it’s broke!)
All our guest stars - remember’s - *this shocker*: (gonna stroke!)
“Muppet sex tapes - are paying - our bills.”

(5, 4, 3.... Pay or it’s on TMZ!)

Now we’ve taped...
Paris bare-ass, Sheeny weenie, Betty White on Kermit’s ‘greenie’
Shtuppin’ Muppets and celeb-ri-tease
Like Reese’s pieces, Busey’s booty, Famous Amos’ pert patooty;
Get down with Gonzo - we’ll capture - the sleaze!

(4, 5, 6... Franklin ‘black-males’ all his tricks!)

~ Felt, hump, fist, pump - the Muppets kneed your junk! ~

We began as - felt scraps in - some attic (as a pup!)
Then Jim Henson - and Oz - came along (‘felt’ us up!)
But when Romney - stormed in - we caught static (that’s a yup!)
*Poof!* The budget - for Big Bird - was gone

(Bill, Bar’ Bush... paid so we won’t tweet their tush!)

And we’ve taped...
Britt’ey’s kitty - gettin’ jiggy - locking ‘Lips’ with Chaz and Piggy;
Precious’ flesh - buried Bert - in HD
Then Kenny G and Tesh and Yani, - Phils (both ‘Doc’ and Punxsutawny)
Cried, “Fozzy won’t you - ‘O-pen Ses-ame’”?!

(Fi, Fo, Fum .... Gere lost Beaker in his bum!)

~ Felt, hump, fist, pump - the Muppets kneed yer junk! ~

So now the red ink’s - receding, - but slowly (what a save!)
Though our dry cleaning bills are sky high (‘cause of Flav!)
Since the Cause and the Cure are both ‘holey’ (what a knave!)
PBS suits - all turn a - blind eye...

(2, 3, whore.... we out-Snookied Jersey Shore!)

When we filmed...
Cee Lo, Li-Lo, J-Lo, Yo-Yo, - Kanye, Kirsty, Kim and Bozo
Shagging Muppets without any shame
Now Flaco sacko, Kaper' pickle, loin-of-Lewis Elmo tickles
Their ‘Souper’ Bowl was - a *really* - tight game!

On the web or in the tabloids
You won’t see these shaggin’ freaks
‘Cause our guest stars always pay up
So their ‘Wiki’ never leaks!

~ Waka, Waka! ~

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Total Votes: 7

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AFW - February 11, 2013 - Report this comment
This is the bomb! Tons of fun lines and rhymes...you've covered, or in some cases, uncovered all the naughty newsmaking celebs..Definitely, takes the parody, "Grandy" for this old original
Old Man Ribber - February 11, 2013 - Report this comment
TJC - Talk about Sesame Streetwalkers! This parody blows...the lid off of the whole rotten mess. (Look out, Oscar!) They must be better at shakedowns than incumbent politicians! But seriously, this is a complete delight. "Roll me Grover in the clover!" ;D
Wendy Christopher - February 11, 2013 - Report this comment
"Aaaahhh... mummy, what's Kermit doing??!! " *experiences her childhood innocence disintegrating before her eyes*

Ridiculously funny, with so many sharp lines (I particularly liked "We out-Snookied Jersey Shore" but there were sooo many more too.) A definite 555. Altohugh I'm never going to be able to look at The Muppets in the same way again..
TJC - February 11, 2013 - Report this comment
Buttloads of extortion-laden thanks out to:
AFW - Gracias for the 'Grandy', 'cause, like, I was totally snubbed at the Sclhokscars, LOL!
OMR - 'Sesame Streetwalkers', ha! Thanks for not mentioning my Groverkill!
WC - You're too kind by a mile, thanks! And sorry about those shattered mammaries!
John Barry - February 11, 2013 - Report this comment
There's a PET in muppet.
Pryin' Lowland - February 11, 2013 - Report this comment
Another unique, over-the-topless concept from the endless well of same, which also snaps cracked pop refs in rows of ribald rhyme!

Have always been against Gov-funded broadcast, and this exposé is yet another example of why it's a bad idea. Thanks for supporting the Liberterrapinian point of view!
TJC - February 12, 2013 - Report this comment
Thank you sly sir. Your 'well' of over-the-top-under-the-radar pseudonym(ph)s is limitless as wel! And I'm glad you groked these rhyme wasn't merely balled, but indeed 're-balled'. Gracias for the V & C!
Phil Alexander - February 12, 2013 - Report this comment
:-)
..or rather :-D
Brilliant, both in conception and execution.
TJC - February 12, 2013 - Report this comment
Much appreciated, Phil!

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