I'm so ashamed that I called you a [censored]
It's a slur that I never should use
I would deny that I called you a [censored]
But the clip is all over the news

(Two, three, four - What are people angry for?)

'Cause I'm a
Sexist racist classist ageist homophobic ignoramus
Though I've stopped saying [censored] out loud
A sexist racist classist ageist homophobic ignoramus
If it slipped out, I must have been plowed

(Four, three, two - Tell them you were sniffing glue)

I am NOT preju-dissed against [censored]s
There are [censored]s that live on my street
In fact, some of my best friends are [censored]s
They are almost like us, and that's sweet

(Three, four, five - It's okay if they're alive)

I'm not a
Sexist racist classist ageist homophobic ignoramus
I say be what you claim you must be
I'm NOT a racist classist ageist homophobic ignoramus
Just don't be it - where I have to see

(Two, three, four - Stay inside and shut the door)

I should go meet with the head of the [censored]s
And make the [censored] community see
I've got nothing but love for the [censored]s
No one puts up with [censored]s like me

(Thirty, forty, fifty - You're so tolerant it's nifty)

I'm not a
Sexist racist classist ageist homophobic ignoramus
Please forgive me; I spoke out of place
A sexist racist classist ageist homophobic ignoramus
Now you [censored]s, get out of my face!

(Let your agent make a statement)
(Let the statement blame the gin)
(Let the gin send you to rehab)
Now the healing can begin!