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Song Parodies -> "Plagiarism Ho!"

Original Song Title:

"Desolation Row"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Plagiarism Ho!"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

This is actually the third parody I did to this song: first one got too depressing, and I didn't finish it; second one I finished but when I read through it, I realized this is way too long a song for a single joke... I was simply bored by the end of it. This one is, well, different... I hope the authors concerned can forgive me my research (as Tom Lehrer might have said)
I ran out of ideas for this parody
Each one that I started was wrong
I guess my ideas were limited, and
This song is too darn long
Then I had this brainwave
I'll pinch an idea or two
I've heard that that's what Dylan
Yes, Bob himself would do
So read on, Macduff, and find out
If there's lyrics here you know
See if I can hear you shouting out
Hey! Plagiarism ho!

See, Puff the tragic drag act
Well, he lived in LA
And frolicked dressed in women's clothes
Over in the USA
But the tabloid papers
Finally had enough
Well, what do you expect if you've
A stupid name like "Puff"?
I'll bet this ain't the only song
Which scans enough to go
So I'll find one that'll make you say
Hey! Plagiarism ho!

Now I met an Asian woman
She cooked for me one day
She drove her car right over to me
But a cat got in her way
She thinks that any grub is good grub
So she made a scrape suzette
And she looked at me as I took a bite 'n' said
You ate somebody's pet
(I didn't write that one, but
It's one of the best, you know
So I'm hoping Claude ain't screaming out now
Plagiarism Ho!)

You have learned to use the Force
Since that last time we met
But kid, I gotta tell you that
You ain't a Jedi yet.
We can both destroy the Emp'ror
He has seen it can be done,
Then we'll rule the place together
As Skywalker and Son!
(Thank you Steve, I love that one
I like "New Orcs" more, though
But that one simply wouldn't scan
into Plagiarism Ho)

Like a maze within a tangle,
Like a birdnest on a reel
Getting spattered by some bug juice
Oh how awful that must feel!
Like a tumbleweed in Yuma,
Or a twister in the night
All mucked up by heavy rainfall
And then blinded by headlights
(And all the things that splatter
As the wind and rain doth blow
On the windshield of Royce's mind
Come Plagiarism Ho!)

It's been a hard knight's day
And I've been jousting with a lance
It's been a hard knights day
Now there's a big hole in my pants
You know it's real hard work rescuing
Damsels in distress
And it might be really helpful if I weren't
Wearing a metal dress
(Well, I know what you're thunkin'
'Cause I know you ain't that slow
This one's gonna make Rick Duncan shout
"Plagiarism Ho!")

We strip, you get a peep show.
Turn smart deals and much more.
Your pet dealing with fleas and ticks?
As the spam begins to soar.
Find no annoyance greater,
Will these fillers ever fail.
That my space is first and mostly,
Turnin' spam in my email.
(And I'm feeling kind o' thankful
To master Guy DiRito
For having the only name to rhyme with
Plagiarism Ho!)

I stare at you in that petri
I slice you half-way with a blade
Two heads grow - now that's so nifty
Now two - a new one's made
Flatworms are like an addiction
With them I've formed quite a bond
And I like to say tubelleria
And skim that, skim that pond
(So Meriadoc and Planarian
May wag their tails of woe
Encysting that it's been stolen
Hey! Plagiarism ho!)

Someone said that she's got eggs,
Loves to make an omelette
But she won't eat them rotten, no
Doesn't want to vomit
And now she's servin breakfast,
'Cause that's how she gets paid
And she also owns a chicken coop,
Well, that's how she gets laid
(Somewhere between ZZ Top
And Jeff Reuben's corny toe
No-one'll have to egg him on
To plagiarism ho!)

Yes, I could go on forever
Ripping off amiright folk
But I guess it's already wearing thin
My plagiaristic joke
All these people that I mention
Hope it doesn't take them long
To read my pilfered lyrics
And pick out their own song
Right now I guess I'll finish up
I can tell it's time to go
So now, I know they're calling me
The 'Plagiarism Ho'
With apologies to Claude Prez, Steve Cavanagh, Royce Miller, Rick Duncan, Guy DiRito, Merry and Pippin, Jeff Reuben and anyone feeling left out because I didn't nick anything from THEM!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - April 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Here's your reward for not plagiarising me - three 5's and a well-deserved "Well done!" Good job, Phil. ;-D
Laurence Dunne - April 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Phil, You get my vote just for being brave enough to do it. But if you ever steal anything of mine ill....wait, I don't really have anything worth stealing...scratch that....
Rick D - April 27, 2004 - Report this comment
You'll be hearing from my lawyer. I want a percentage of the profits you make from this. My laywer assured me we have a case after I gave him 2,000 dollars. Boy, are you in trouble!
Phil Alexander - April 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick, you can have 50% of every penny I make from this. So can everybody else in it...
Rick D - April 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Likewise for my stuff...
Meriadoc - April 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey Phil - thanks for the mention! This was a very clever idea. And our lawyer says you can avoid jail time if you agree to record one of our parodies - hee hee... ;-)
alvin rhodes - April 27, 2004 - Report this comment
this is a beaut...this tune is getting a real workout lately
Charlie Decker - April 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent job, Phil. I only hope that one day I am renowned enough to be worth plagarizing...
Rick D - April 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Pay me 10 times what Phil made on this and I'LL record you!
Peregrin - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
This was a great idea! Phil! Rick! Don't fight, ye can both record us heh heh!
Phil Alexander - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Alvin - Tim Hall sent out a challenge to parody this song, which was quite a challenge given the length of it, hence the number that have turned up recently.

Must admit I've had a bit of fun browsing through other people's parodies, trying to sing them ot the tune of Desolation Row (a bit like ISIHAC's "One song to the tune of another", but in this case LOTS of songs to the tune of another), and seeing which ones worked - I think I could have found enough of my own, but that wouldn't have been plagiarism... and this was lots more fun :-)
John Jenkins - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
If you only use one source, it's plagiarism, but if you use multiple sources, it is ... research.

Very clever idea, Phil, but it sounds like you are giving away 350% of your revenues.
Phil Alexander - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah, but 350% of nothing is still nothing... but what about this for a thought: I've said I'd give 50% of everything I make on this song to each of the authors I've quoted, for every pound I get, I'm giving 3.50 away... so I'm making a loss - does that mean I get money back again?
john caddick - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Again excellent stuff. Perhaps Dylan attracts excellent parody writers.
Phil Alexander - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, John - there's a few lyricists who write songs that are hard to parody badly: this sort of rhythm and meter make parodies fairly straightforward to write (though Desolation Row has so many words that it's hard to keep an idea going... if you enjoyed this one, it's because I nicked so many other people's ideas. Please follow the links under the song to read their full genius... maybe I should treat this as an advertisement rather than plagiarism ;-) )

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