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Song Parodies -> "Desecrate The Host"

Original Song Title:

"Desolation Row"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Desecrate The Host"

Parody Written by:

Michael McVey

The Lyrics

Someone requested a parody of Desolation Row, and since I pride myself in spoofing the unspoofable, I decided to take him up on it, and here is the result. Laugh, moan or both....
They're selling postcards of the chapel
They're making the tourists frown
The church is filled with reporters
John Kerry is in town
Here come the blind parishoners
He's got them in a trance
One hand is tied to a roped-off pew
The other is in his pants
And the faithful priests are restless
They wanna tell him where to go
At the mass they celebrate tonight
He will desecrate the Host

The archbishop, he seems too easy
"It takes one to know one," he smiles
He folds his arms and turns his head
Bart Simpson style
In comes Father Pavone, he's moaning
"You Belong to Satan I Believe"
He tells Kerry, "You're in the wrong place,
my friend you better leave"
And the only sound that's left
After the collection baskets go
Is John Kerry lining up
To desecrate the Host

Now Kerry tries to stay hidden
From the hecklers chanting outside
His fortunetelling lady
Has locked herself inside
She remembers the time John Kerry
was turned back at Notre Dame
Everybody is raising Cain
Or else expecting rain
And the archbishop, he's dressing
He's getting ready for the show
Kerry's going to the cathedral tonight
To desecrate the Host

Now Mrs. Heinz, she's 'neath the window
I think she's so full of crap
Her Republican family's so liberal
She married a Democrat
To her, death is quite romantic
When it's done to the unborn
Her profession's her religion
And sin is her m.o.
And though her eyes are fixed upon
Jesse Jackson's great rainbow
She joins her husband at every mass
To desecrate the Host

Kerry claims he's Robin Hood
With his rosaries collecting dust
Passed this way an hour ago
With his friend, an apostate monk
He looked so immaculately pitiful
As he bummed some campaign cash
Then he went off sniffing Ecstasy
And thumbing through his rolodex
Now you would not think to look at him
But he was famous not long ago
His best friend plays the saxophone
While he desecrates the Host

Howard Stern, he keeps his babes
Inside of a B-sized cup
But all his sex-crazed viewers
They're trying to screw Dubya up
Now Kerry's friend, some local loser
She's in charge of the West Side whores
And she also keeps the cards that read
"Have Mercy on His Soul"
They all rant and rave on a website
That Stern runs from the coast
He thinks Kerry does the right thing when
He desecrates the Host

Under a painting of Jesus on the cross
They're getting ready for Easter mass
Again He rises from the dead
In the image of a priest
They're spoonfeeding the faithful
To make them feel more assured
Then they'll bloat Kerry with self-confidence
After flattering him with words
And protesters shout to blue-haired skinny girls
"Get Outa Here If You Don't Know
John Kerry's gonna be punished in Hell,
for he desecrates the Host"

Now at midnight all the agents
Of the tyrant DHS
Come out and round up everyone
They think might be a pest
Then they bring them down to Cuba
Where Castro has his machine
AK's strapped across their shoulders
They confiscate the kerosene
They find in one of the vehicles
Of an insurance man they know
But they don't care if John Kerry wants
To desecrate the Host

They send spacecraft to Neptune
And strike Iraq at dawn
And everybody's shouting
"Which Side Are You On?"
Daschle and Frist they cannot stop
Fighting on the Senate floor
While most of the voters puke at them
And at their ivory towers
Between the buildings of Camp David
Where the Senators and rich snobs go
And the priests don't seem to care too much
If they desecrate the Host

Now, Clinton could take communion
At some Baptist church in Alabam'
Because they think that once you're saved
You'll never, ever be damned
All these politicians that I mention
Yes, I believe that they're quite lame
I had to redecorate their faces
On a website I will not name
Right now I do not feel too good
About how the churches stoop so low
And how the politicians all want
To desecrate the Host
2004 Michael W. McVey

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User Comments

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Johnny D - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Whether or not I personally happen to agree or disagree with the thoughts expressed in any particular verse of this parody, I can certainly vote a well-deserved 555 for this parody to recognize its complexity and passion and well-crafted structure. Good job, Michael.
Adagio - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Good parodies today so far. Good job on this, MM 5's ( I agree about Kerry desecrating the Host)
Meriadoc - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent job Michael - and very funny! (and true).
Michael McVey - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, thanks, Johhny (and the others, too). I worked very hard on this one. -- MM
alvin rhodes - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
nice job, michael....tough song to do but you did it brilliantly...5s
Paul Robinson - April 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Michael, Some of the sentiments annoy me more than a little bit (I won't go into it, we have some irreconcillable differences, I think), but it a well done piece of work. 5-5-5
Peregrin - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Michael, sentiments matter not to me so much. I liked what I read from a 'parodic' POV! Good job.
john caddick - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Well written, with the original words peeping through as a reminder. I'm not that bothered about the subject matter though. I haven't got any time for God or religion. It doesn't surprise me how low politicians will stoop.

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