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Song Parodies -> "The New York Jets"

Original Song Title:

"Like a Rolling Stone"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"The New York Jets"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

I wrote this in 1996, when the Jets were this bad and then some. Leon Hess was their late original owner, and for some reason, Bill Parcells, who turned the team around in 1997, is known as the Big Tuna. As New Yorker Neil Diamond would say, Except for the names and a few of the changes, when you talk about the Jets, the story's the same one.
Once upon a time you dressed so fine
you threw the Jets a dime in their prime
didn't you?
But now they're a mess, Mr. Leon Hess.
I must confess, they just regress.
I ain't kiddin' you!
You used to laugh about all the games where you got blown out.
Now you don't talk so loud. Now you don't seem so proud.
And you have to ask your players, "Are you for real?"

How does it feel?
How does it feel?
To be losing bets?
To have lots of regrets?
To be the New York Jets?

Aw, you drafted from the finest schools, all right, Mr. Lonely
but you know you only used to get juiced in it.
Nobody's ever taught you how to face an angry New York media.
Now you're gonna have to get used to it.
You say you never compromised
with Mike and the Mad Dog, but now you realize
they're not accepting any alibis
as they stare into the vacuum of your players' eyes
and say, "Hey, what's the deal?"

How does it feel?
How does it feel?
To be losing bets?
To have lots of regrets?
This is as bad as it gets!
This is the New York Jets!

Aw, you never turned around to see the frowns
on the green-and-white clowns when they all got down
and hit the grass for you!
You never understood that it ain't no good!
You shouldn't let Bubby Brister try to pass for you!
You used to ride on a chrome horse with your diplomat
Broadway Joe Namath, a real cool cat!
Ain't it hard when you discover that
it's been a generation since he's been where it's at
and suddenly Neil O'Donnell doesn't look like such a steal!

How does it feel?
How does it feel?
To be losing bets?
To have lots of regrets?
This is as bad as it gets!
This is the New York Jets!

Aw, the San Francisco 49ers and the Green Bay Packers think they're finer.
They're all drinkin' and thinkin' that they got it made!
The Dallas Cowboys flash their jewelry
but you better take that Super Bowl III ring
you better pawn it, babe!
You used to be so amused at the Big Bad Tuna and the language that he used.
Go to him now, and call him, he won't refuse.
You got nothing left, so you got nothing left to lose.
Your team really stinks now, it's impossible to conceal!

How does it feel?
How does it feel?
To be losing bets?
To have lots of regrets?
This is as bad as it gets!
This is the New York Jets!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   1
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User Comments

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Robert J. Pagliaro - October 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Pretty good. Oh, and may your Yankees lose tonight because - The Yankees Suck, the Yankees Suck, the Yankees Ssssuuuuccckkkkk.
Michael Pacholek - October 02, 2003 - Report this comment
You wish your team sucked as much as the Yankees do.
Charlie Decker - October 02, 2003 - Report this comment
5-5-5 from another dejected Jets fan...
... - October 02, 2003 - Report this comment
i don't like the yankees either, only because i'm tired of seeing them in the playoffs year after year, just like the braves. i wish some other team would dominate the eastern division in both the NL and the AL. what i'm trying to say is, it's boring seeing the same teams year after year. i'm definitely cheering for the twins.
Ellipsis - October 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Whoops , did i go too far off topic?
Billy Florio - October 02, 2003 - Report this comment
You can also change a few things and make it about the Mets lol
Michael Pacholek - October 03, 2003 - Report this comment
There's a difference, Billy: I despise the Mets, I only pity the Jets. I know, it's not nice to hate...
Charlie Decker - October 03, 2003 - Report this comment
I loved the Mike and the Mad Dog line :-)
Green Bloodied Hound Dogs - April 10, 2004 - Report this comment
WHOA!!!!!!!

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