Vaunted man in California.
Vaunted man in Ohio.
Vaunted man in Kansas City.
Vaunted man in Buffalo.

I might be in Colorado
or Georgia by the sea
working on a song I'll post here
as a parody.

So if you see my writing
and if your brain's alive.
Don't you listen to nobody
'cause you know it gets a five.

Vaunted man by John A. Barry.
Vaunted man by Alvin Rhodes.
Vaunted man by Princess Arwen.
Vaunted man by trucks and loads.
Yeah.

(instrumental break)

I get sidetracked watching baseball
and that's where I get some kicks.
I went the wrong way on the TV.
Get ideas from politics.

I write stuff 'bout Oscar dresses
but I'm still masculine.
Wonder why Ms. Zeta-Jones won't come
around and be my queen.

Vaunted man in Albuquerque.
Vaunted man in Syracuse.
Vaunted man in Tallahassee.
Vaunted man in Baton Rouge.
Yeah.

(instrumental break)

Well, I've had the votes I've wanted.
Thank you all for what I've had.
But a lot of folks have sent me nasty
ratings that are bad.

There's somebody sent to slam me
some Met fans, some G.O.P.
They don't like my "Ed Fitzgerald"
or "Alone Again, Naturally."

Vaunted man without no regrets.
Vaunted man here once again.
Wherever you might look tonight
you might see this vaunted man.
Yeah, wherever you might look tonight
you might see this vaunted man.