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Song Parodies -> "Brainy Day Phone Jerks"

Original Song Title:

"Rainy Day Woman #12 & 35 (Everybody Must Get Stoned)"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Brainy Day Phone Jerks"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

Well, they'll phone ya when you're chillin' in the hood.
They'll phone ya just 'cause they knew they could.
They'll phone ya when you're cell is set to roam.
They'll phone ya when you're sittin' on the throne.
Say, can you hear me now from this zone?
Verizon guy with his phone.

They'll phone ya and they'll try to be discreet.
They'll phone ya and they'll fool ya with deceit.
They'll phone ya and they'll ask you if you snore.
They're phonin' cause they have relief galore.
Verizon guy is back with his phone,
Somebody said he's been cloned.

They'll phone ya 'til they make you feel unstable.
They'll phone ya on fiber optic cable.
They'll phone ya to impeach an old lame duck.
They'll phone ya from outside in their truck.
Some day Verizon guy may be all alone,
Pull the service on his phone!

They'll phone ya and they'll try to be your friend.
Then, They'll phone ya and can't seem to find the end.
They'll phone you from a-near or from afar.
Even phone ya from places like Qatar.
There's no way you can ever feel alone,
As long as they got their phone.

They'll phone you and they'll talk to you alone.
They'll even phone ya to sell a phone.
They'll phone you to show you how to save.
They'll phone you 'til you're cold down on in your grave.
So now don't you feel so all alone,
When you hear that dial tone.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Wild Man - June 23, 2003 - Report this comment
Had occasion where my Verizon phone bill was slammed from almost every country known to man. Glad you could find some humor in that. I got a good laugh out of it. Phone solicitors, Man, aren't they one step above those people who hold up will work for food signs?
Michael Pacholek - June 23, 2003 - Report this comment
Having been a telemarketer once, and miraculously having turned away from the Dark Side, I can tell Wild Man, YES THEY ARE! And only one step! A great one, Guy! Except... Yeah, I can just see Guy "chillin' in the hood." What the hell, it's supposed to make us laugh.
Stray Pooch - June 23, 2003 - Report this comment
Ah, Chillin' with Dylan! It even SOUNDS like the instructions to a telemarketting crew - "EVERYBODY MUST GET PHONED!!!!" Nice job!!!
Mike Florio - June 26, 2003 - Report this comment
That was good...
AMIRIGHT AWARDS NOMINEE - November 13, 2003 - Report this comment
"Annoyances of Life"
Diane - September 23, 2004 - Report this comment
This is funny as hell
Leo Keough - March 13, 2012 - Report this comment
After noting how many spam calls my caller id picked today, I thought about doing one like this...but you beat me to the punch by nine years and said everything I would have said...555!!!

And I'm registered on the DNC list...makes me think they use that as their call list.

Every once in a while I answer one of the calls and have a little fun with them. One time I did nothing but fake like I was laughing...the nut who called stayed on the line for over five minutes trying to get a word in each time I paused before he finally gave up. Another time I talked with my lips pressed shut the whole time, telling the caller that I'd had my lips sewn shut as a way of trying to solve my obesity problem...I had that guy laughing uncontrollably before he finally gave up. Maybe if everyone would do stuff like this we could end this madness.
Guy - April 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Leo, Yes I'm still alive and a bit late to thank you for your comment.

I lived in Japan for over 3 years many moons ago and I picked up enough of the language to use it. A telemarketer called and I answered with "Mushi-mushi". They of course butchered my name and I started ratling thing off in Japanese. I'm getting... Huh? What? I can't understand you. What language are you speaking?

I answer with my best Japanese accent "No Engrish" They kept on trying to find out what language I was speaking and I could hear in the background for anyone who spoke another language to listen in because they wanted to sell me something or whatever scam they were up to. They finally gave up after I called them a "Bacayerro" (Stupid Ass)

My son who was then about 17 years old was standing next to me and I couldn't look at him because he was laughing so hard holding it in. I didn't want to lose it. Yeah, they fell for that one hook, line and "stinker". I just love to jack with those idiots every chance I get when I'm in the mood. I have lots of stories like this one on how I jack with unwanted callers, but instead of telling you about them, I'll point you at a parody that I wrote that really tells it like it is.

Phone parodies are part of my parody portfolio. If you get a chance, that is if you read this, check out OS "Alone Again Naturally" by Gilbert O'Sullivan redone in parody and named by me "The Phone Again (Kryminny)"

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