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Song Parodies -> "Everybody Must Get Phoned"

Original Song Title:

"Everybody Must Get Stoned"

Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Everybody Must Get Phoned"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

Dedicated to those Indian-based call centre geeks who try to sell me mobile phone discount deals while I'm cooking dinner.......btw, this being a Dylan song, I've paced it to the feel of the song and for ease of reading - if I paced it syllable-perfectly to Dylan's rambling syntax it would have been a mess, er, MORE of a mess :-)........for the OS, right-click here
[lots of country-hoe-down-style whoopin' and hollerin']

well, they'll phone ya while yer washin' and yer nude
they'll phone ya while yer watchin' Fam'ly Feud
they'll phone ya on yer weekend getaway
ter ask yer what they asked yer yesterday
yer tell 'em...t' please leave yer alone!
twenty minutes later they'll phone

well, they'll phone ya while ya tryna cook a roast
coz that's the time it's on the hook the most
they'll phone ya on yer frickin' weddin' day
they'll phone ya while yer flickin' the bouquet
these GEEKS with - out lives of their own
are makin' sure we all get phoned

they'll phone ya if yer drunk and in the gutter
they'll phone ya from a suburb in Calcutta
they'll phone ya when yer think they've gone away
they'll phone ya when yer drinkin' chardonnay
and just be....cuz yer all alone
yer not too all-alone to be phoned

[more mad mouth-organ and whoopin' and hollerin']

they'll phone at ten o'clock......(on a Saturdee)
they'll phone ya when ya watchin' Grey's Anatomy
they'll phone yer when it's midnight in Bombay
ter say "hello and how are you today"
the further they are from yer...time-zone
the likelier yer gonna get phoned

[yet more whoopin' and hollerin']

well, they'll phone ya seven times (...maybe ten)
and then they'll phone yer up once again
they'll phone ya when yer phone is there beside ya
they'll phone ya when yer votin' in "Survivor"
they NEVER...leave an unturned stone
EVERYBODY MUST GET PHONED


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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   20
 20
 20
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Stuart didn't know you were so anti-social.... No wonder you write parodies...
alvin rhodes - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
what a scream...thanks for the laughs
Johnny D - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Heh heh heh, great job, Stu, and you might have given me an idea...
Cat - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Hilarious, Stu. And very original. (But the perfectionist in me wants to make a note that the song's real title is "Rainy Day Women #12 and #35.")
Rick C - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Can't decide which couplets I like best. "the further they are from yer...time-zone, the likelier yer gonna get phoned" was good but, gutter/Calcutta was good too. I also liked the nude/Feud and Saturdee/Anatomy ones. Take these fives, please. :-)
Kristof Robertson - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL!! You're so right, Stu...how do they know when I'm sitting down to my beans on toast, everytime? 555. Oh, bummer about messing the title up...;-)
PMS - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Nude/feud was my favorite. Folks are right about the title of the OS, but I never think of it by that name.
AFW - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
You need caller ID, Stuart...so, you can tell the good guys from the bad guys...lots of funny lines in this..Great stuff!
Stuart McArthur - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Matthias, if only THEY knew how anti-social I was, they wouldn't try to sell me phone plans for equipment favoured by the social - thanks mate :-)

thanks alvin - that must be screaming by transferral

er, Johnny, why do I get the feeling "Everybody Must Get Cloned" is about to appear amongst tomorrow's submissions ;-)

thanks Cat, and point taken about the name, although I (improperly) thought the OS name I used would be the name most likely to remind people of the song, and therefore give my parody the most reads (which I know is wrong ;-(...it's a cut-throat amiright world out there!) - a bit like people calling Eleanor Rigby "All The Lonely People" - btw, as a point of interest, when I limewired the OS, all the found versions were nearly always incorrectly named "Everybody Must get Stoned", and btw again, are you really only 16 - you have a vast pop musical knowledge!

thanks, Rick, but *warily* your deal sounds too good to be true - what's the catch with those free 5s?

thanks Kristof, and oh I know! - gourmands like us need to fully concentrate as we reheat those beans

thanks PMS, and me neither, as I said above

thanks AFW - "country ID" would be enough - all of my calls come from the greater India area
Johnny D - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
ARRRGH!!! Someone else already did that one!
Rick C - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
No catch, Stu. I just liked all of this.
Cat - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Heh, Stu, everyone has to have a vast useless knowledge of SOMETHING. And it's dead useful in Scholastic Bowl!
Lionel Mertens - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
A fitting punishment for these telemonkeys would be for this parody to be the background music while on hold.
Stuart McArthur - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
no kidding, JD? - I've gotta check that out

What is Scholastic Bowl, Cat?

thanks Lionel, and if I ever record it, they will definitely be my test audience ;-) (loved "telemonkeys")
Red Ant - July 26, 2006 - Report this comment
I've only a vague recollection of how TOS goes (which, until reading Cat's comment, I thought was the title you picked). The "gutter/Calcutta" and "beside ya/survivor" rhymes were great. Funny stuff, and great job capturing Dylan's, uh, Dylan-ness. ;-) 555.
Stuart McArthur - July 26, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks Red - yeah, he really actually gets down and has a good time in this OS, laughing and carrying on (...and you can link to the OS from my intro)
TJC - July 26, 2006 - Report this comment
For me the best, maybe it was its quirkyness... was the roast, on the hook the most line.... a winner!
Meriadoc - July 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Specially loved the first line - but it must be my salacious imagination woking overtime... ;-)
Michael Pacholek - July 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, I would not make your ratings dive. Everybody must vote five! And, in the words of our nation's last freely-elected President (so far)... "Ah feel yer pain."
Stuart McArthur - July 28, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks TJC (I must admit I have sometimes sacrificed conversational flow just to bag a double-rhyme couplet like that - eg. here in fact, where I went for "frickin weddin' day/flickin the bouquet" when it should really have been "tossin' the bouquet" - but it's because they're so beautiful when they come off ;-) ) - btw as I said in my last post to your MMG, keep submitting, mate

well you would, wouldn't you Merry? - lol - and thanks

thanks Michael, and yes, I miss him too...
2Eagle - July 29, 2006 - Report this comment
I had telemarketers in mind. Now, how about "Everybody's gotta get spammed".
Stuart McArthur - July 30, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks 2Eagle - you realise this WAS about telemarketers? - and "spammed" would be a good idea for a twin parody
Cat - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Scholastic Bowl is this trivia competition thing that American high schools have, it's sort of like a game show. You buzz in to answer questions and then you collaborate with your team on a bonus if you get it right. It's very fun, and it's basically my LIFE from November to March each year.
Agrimorfee - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3) I liked it, but not as much as everyone else has for some reason.
Adagio - August 21, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3) Hilarious! But missing some rhymes (went over it twice). 5's for the hilarity, tho.
Stuart McArthur - August 21, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks Agri (I mean Aggy ;-) ) and Pat

Pat - I thought the strength of this one WAS its rhymes (as I aimed for triple rhymes in a lot of the couplets) - I just checked and every couplet rhymes on at least the last emphasised, and trailing, syllable (and sometimes on 5 syllables), and I didn't leave out any verses, so I can only guess that you had a problem with "a Saturdee/Anatomy" or "beside ya/Survivor" or that you're pronouncing "again" with a hard "A" sound
Adagio - August 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Hmm, Stu, I suppose my East Tennesse accent doesn't rhyme with too much....but since everybody else loved the rhymes, so did I and gave you 5's. It was ultra-funny...and one of these days I'd love to use the OS as parody stuff, k? (won't be as funny as yours though)
Stuart McArthur - August 21, 2006 - Report this comment
I look forward to reading your unique slant on this OS, Pat - but I'm still curious where our accents differ on the above ;-)
Red Ant - August 22, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3E) To be honest, the reason I didn't d/l TOS the first time around is because of your opening comment about the 'non-specific' pacing, which I thought would compromise my pacing vote (vague memory = better vote there). I did Limewire this though. The only verse I had any trouble scanning was the fourth, and I didn't see any rhyming oddities. That said, some songs SHOULD be a bit different in meter than the originals, this being one of them ("WDSTF"should be paced to TOS, as you did with "These Women I've Desired"). A bit of practice might be required to karaoake this, but probably much less than TOS. In five words: You made the right choice. And it's still friggin' funny.
Red Ant - August 22, 2006 - Report this comment
PS: I realize my above comment might seem a little preachy or belittling with the "woulds"and "shoulds", but it wasn't intended that way.
Rick C - August 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3-E) See above.
Johnny D - August 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) See ab-(beepBEEPBEEEEEEPbeepbeepBEEPBEEEEEEP)-ah, 'scuse me, gotta get that...
Red Ant - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3E) See above, see above, and see above. *does cheesy Indian telemarketer impression* Most funnier second time around, Mister McAuthor. ;-)
Michael McVey - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
THIS IS TERRIFIC!!!!! Bell must be laughing in his grave!-MM
Josh 2 - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
getting stoned is much more fun, but hey, 5s
Jeff Reuben - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Good call on this one, lots of good lines, and I like the overall tone of the song.
Kristof Robertson - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3E) Allo? Misser McArtney? McAllum? McArthur! We would like to offer you chance to buying Parody Writing Kit...oh, I am seeing you not need one! You are being one funny guy!
Dee Range - December 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Don't know where I was when this came out, but I missed a beauty...one of your best, Stu. Being an avid Dylan fan, this made me howl! 555+
puns and roses - February 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Hah, fantastic!

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