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Song Parodies -> "Won't Think Once, His Wing's Right"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Think Twice, It's All Right"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bob Dylan

Parody Song Title:

"Won't Think Once, His Wing's Right"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

My first parody of the second illegitimate Bush Administration. That's right: If he'd lost beyond all question in 2000 -- instead of what he actually did, which was beyond MOST question -- he wouldn't have been a viable candidate in 2004, so the second term is as illegitimate as the first. Eric Clapton did a GREAT version of this. The Four Seasons did it pretty well, too, as "The Wonder Who?"
Ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe.
It don't matter anyhow.
Ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe.
Didn't know then, he don't know now.
When the rooster crows at the break of dawn
another hundred soldiers will be gone.
He's the reason they're at Arlington's lawn
Won't think once, his wing's right.

Ain't no use in turning on his light, babe.
The light inside his dome.
Ain't no use in turning on his light, babe.
As usual, there's no one home.
Still I wish there was something I could do
to try to make this bum just go away.
I thought I had a chance Election Day.
Won't think once, his wing's right.

Ain't no use in calling him a putz, gal
like you always did before.
Ain't no use in calling him a yutz, gal.
You tried it in 2004.
I'm a-thinkin' and a-wonderin' all the way down the road.
His brain is really squirming like a toad.
Said Christ changed his heart, but Georgie sold his soul.
Won't think once, his wing's right.

I'm looking for an '08 candidate, babe.
Who'll it be? I can't tell.
But goodbye can't come too soon for the Bush, gal.
Once it does, we'll fare well.
I'm just saying he's treated us unkind.
We could've done better than his empty mind.
He's just kind of given us all his slime.
Won't think once, his wing's right.

One thousand four hundred sixty-one days to go...

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.1
How Funny: 3.3
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 6
 6
 
 2   2
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 2
 1
 
 5   6
 7
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Ingeborg S. Nordén - January 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Well-paced, clever rhymes, more thoughtful than the typical anti-Bush parody. My favorite lines:

"Ain't no use in calling him a putz, gal
like you always did before.
Ain't no use in calling him a yutz, gal.
You tried it in 2004."

This one rates 5-5-5, of course...
Ravyn Rant - January 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeah, what Inge said. Peter, Paul and Mary also did a nice version of TOS. And I'm really glad that I'm not the only one who hasn't "gotten over it" and won't "move on". How can you re-elect an office holder who was never legitimately elected in the first place? (That was for the ones people.)
Martha - January 21, 2005 - Report this comment
yes absolutely terrific parody... Michael do you ever come to London and do you ever do live gigs???
alvin rhodes - January 21, 2005 - Report this comment
i sent george a big bag of pretzels for his big day...hope he got 'em ....nice job on the parody..couldn't agree more....5s
Re-defeat Kerry in 2008 - January 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Ha ha! Eat shit, Bush-bashers! If you can't figure out why the ol' far-left socialist never-been-in-Cambodia military-bashing anti-gun pro-abortion lie-constantly-while-accusing-others-of-lying anti-American UN-worshipping Euro-candidate from the party of Michael Moore, Eminem, and Madonna lost against Bush, then thinking obviously doesn't do you much good. You could have run Lieberman, you know.
Tim Hall - January 23, 2005 - Report this comment
If his wing is right, he will be going around in circles until 2008!
Michael Pacholek - January 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Inge: Yeah, I really liked that line too. Ravyn: Like I always say: "Never shut up, or else the other side will be the only one heard." Most of the cars here in Central Jersey that had those treasonous Bush-Cheney stickers have removed them, but most of the Kerry-Edwards stickers are still on. Boy, are they gonna be surprised if Kerry gets renominated and then picks a different running mate (he better, if he runs again). Martha: A, I don't have the money to fly to London, and B, I'm not sure Our Fearless Appointed Wartime Leader With a Purpose would let me back into the country. Alvin: I hope they were Philly soft pretzels. Easier to get lodged in the throat than the hard kind. (Then again, the Eagles didn't choke this time.) RDK08: Sometimes the better man wins. (1976, 1992, 1996, 2000.) And sometimes the Republican wins instead. (1972, 1980, 1984, 1988, 2004.) And sometimes the Republican steals it. (1968, 2000.) Yes, we could have chosen Joe Lieberman, the rightfully-elected Vice President of the United States. But we wanted a Democrat instead. Next time, we'll break with tradition and choose a live liberal for BOTH halves of the ticket.
Pretzel Logic - January 31, 2005 - Report this comment
So sending pretzels to GWB would be an assassination attempt? OK. I bet you're fun at parties.
Michael Pacholek - January 31, 2005 - Report this comment
If Bush won fair and square in 2000, then I'm the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. (Dallas sucks!) So Nixon was the better man than Kennedy, Humphrey and McGovern? Thems must be good drugs you're on. Kennedy didn't steal squat, or didn't you notice that Illinois' Electoral Votes would NOT have put Tricky Dick over the top? The Vietnam War was started by Eisenhower, not JFK or LBJ. The only good thing Bush could ever do for his country is resign. He is a disgrace, and it will take the Democrat elected in 2008 and 2012 all eight years just to get back to where we were after eight years of Bill Clinton, who is ten times the President and a hundred times the man Georgie Bush is. In fact, as Bill Maher would say, Hillary Clinton is twice the woman Bush is. And you're about 75 percent the punk he is. Nobody could be 100 percent of that.
Pretzel Logic - February 01, 2005 - Report this comment
"Slick Willy"? "Sore Loserman"? "John sKerry"? Wow--indignation AND originality. We seriously need to hang out. I bet you're a babe magnet.
the stuman - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
overall, this was well constructed but with a few flaws: 1. 2nd verse 5th line: "Still I wish there was something I could do" should end with "...do OR SAY..." to make it more true to the original flow. 2. last verse 4th line: "Once it does, we'll fare well." does not flow to the original "...fare THEE well." a syllable is missing in the parody

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