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Song Parodies -> "Intervene, Apple"

Original Song Title:

"Little Green Apples"

Original Performer:

Bobby Goldsboro

Parody Song Title:

"Intervene, Apple"

Parody Written by:

Timmy1000

The Lyrics

The original is here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeTXZ5zPt7k This song was done by several artists, but this is the one I used. This is a letter from the FBI to Tim Cook in regards to their current dispute over creating software to circumvent erasure of terrorist data
And I ache, yup, we’re in mourning
When that pair in deep disguise, gun spree did fly
But we fumble with a phone unable
Hit the skids now knowin’, got no tool - comply
For the leeches code to break as planned
Might freeze up, says you’ll be kneeling, son
And now Cook, don’t cross with guile and hip
Just form the part we need, a code undone

And if you’re not giving key
Hardball we’re gonna play
Squad’s gonna take and intervene, Apple
We’ll get your brain to unlock a phone abyss in the winter time
And we’re not king of rights’ abuse
Our biz’ is planned, our method’s loose, no cursory crime
Squad’s gonna fake rules byzantine, Apple
With law arcane from in seventeen eighty nine in the present time
And then the cell will let us know
With links, no doubt our case will flow, we’ll be aligned

The crime was all backed up on phone, though in a tizzy
Unmasking was such an easy play for seizing and
Pray we see hot gab before delete
But we swapped passwords, blew it, scurry now to decree
That you must translate
Now our writ, circumventing scheme, free files that you burst with key
Don’t parade delay

And if you’re not building key
Hardball we’re gonna play
Bod’s gonna quake, you’ll reconvene, Apple
The writ says go, do an analysis though the writ is dumb
And our show will sting, don’t be naïve
Sup some grog, your fraught aggrieved and get it done
Squad’s gonna fake rules byzantine, Apple
With law arcane from in seventeen eighty nine in the present time
And then the cell will let us know
In sync, and then our case will flow, we’ll be aligned
I guess I should start keeping my blinds closed and watch for black SUV's in the neighborhood.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - February 25, 2016 - Report this comment
I feel secure giving you 555 on my Android!
Patrick - February 25, 2016 - Report this comment
When you spy on everybody, you get everybody's information. 350 million files to sort through to find one or two terrorists. Statistically, you are going to miss a few. Especially since the first time you find out what they were up to is when the bomb goes off or someone starts shooting. Most of the so-called "successes" in the War on Terror are disgruntled schmucks the FBI set up, encouraged, then busted when the came to deliver the fake bomb. A real terrorist wouldn't need the help of the feds, he could make his own weapon. But the statistics wouldn't look as impressive.
Timmy1000 - February 25, 2016 - Report this comment
Thanks, Rob and Patrick. Rob, maybe it's time to go back to a landline. Wait, aren't those under investigation at the phone companies. How come the FBI can't go to the phone company and get the terrorist phone information? I'm not sure I understand the technology, but a strange story going on.
Storm the Albatross - May 03, 2018 - Report this comment
Eat too many little green apples and you will regret it for week you will moan and groan and visit the bathroom a lot

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