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Song Parodies -> "Test Tube Soldier"

Original Song Title:

"Broomstick Cowboy"

Original Performer:

Bobby Goldsboro

Parody Song Title:

"Test Tube Soldier"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

A great old anti-war song. Claudine Longet had a nice version, too. Let's see what my twisted mind can do with it.
Dream on, little test-tube soldier
Those tales of Thor and Mars
Of camo* nets
And fighter jets
And half-track armored cars

Dream on, in your incubator
Warrior to be
Close order drills
And sniper skills
And landing craft at sea

For soon you'll be decanted
Your training will begin
A drill instructor showing you
Just how to fight and win

And you'll be formed into a man
With harness on your back*
A brand new weapon in your hands
And ready to attack

For soon the rifles will be fired
The hand grenades be hurled
Decisive battles underway
Just who will rule the world?

Indoctrination kicks in
You're not afraid to die
You'll wage war on the enemy
And never question why

And then the cannon thunder
You feel your knees go weak
A military blunder
And now, you're up a creek

Fight on, you brave test-tube soldier
Genes of my own
An awesome, manufactured thing
My son, you are a clone

*Camo: camouflage *Harness: In Shakespeare's time, harness meant the strap or belt that held a soldier's sword and scabbard. In modern terms, combat web gear. In the Kevin Costner film "The Postman", the character misquotes the line "we'll die with the harness "off" our back", using harness in the sense of straps to bind and control a horse. MacBeth would die with "harness on his back", meaning that he was going down fighting. Costner's character would die to be free, and not a slave in a madman's army.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Rob Arndt - June 27, 2011 - Report this comment
Remember the tv series "Sea Quest DSV"??? The "tanks"??? Memories- 555!!! Or the movie with Kurt Russell- "The Soldier"???
AFW - June 27, 2011 - Report this comment
Reads well..good story
WarrenB - June 27, 2011 - Report this comment
Wasn't familiar with the original, but I liked this a lot.

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