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Song Parodies -> "Alcoholic Medley"

Original Song Title:

"Abbey Road Medley"

Original Performer:

Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"Alcoholic Medley"

Parody Written by:

Steve Kalafut

The Lyrics

Instead of following up my "Corn King" parody to "Sun King" with more complaints about the ethanol mandate, I offer a tribute to the correct use of ethanol - inebriation. So grab an adult beverage and sing along. (No, NOT you, junior. If under 21, please stick to root beer.)
There goes the drunkard, drinks in the park
He's in the dark, hiding behind paper
He has some holes in his shoes
Does he really read the news?
Spends a hundred dollars on booze
He's a drunken man
He's a drunken man

He always stops down at the shop,
'Cause it's the place where they sell whiskey,
Gin and vodka and grenadine
There's no bar where he's never been
Always shouts out something obscene
Such a drunken old man
Drunken old man
-----
Well, you can drink Budweiser beer
And you can drink until it comes out your ear
If no Budweiser at hand,
Just grab a different brand
Yes, you can drink Budweiser beer
Yeah yeah yeah

Get a dose of it in bottles or kegs
And you can drink it right on down to the dregs
Or you can ring-a-ding-ding,
And do the Stegmeyer thing
But now your bladder, for relief, how it begs
Yeah yeah yeah
-----
Oh, look out

I'll open up the bathroom window
To get some fresh air while I pee
I see my urine has no color
From too much alcohol in me

Didn't anybody tell you?
Did you go mess up your brain?
Beer is never owned, it's rented
Always ends up down the drain

They say there is no beer in heaven
And that is why we drink it here
But now I've had much more than seven
And the last call is getting near

Look out, here comes the police department
I hope they don't take me away
And though right now they won't arrest me,
They've told me that I cannot stay

Didn't anybody tell you?
Did you go mess up your brain?
Beer is never owned, it's rented
Always ends up down the drain
Oh yeah.
-----
Call this man a cab, to take him homeward
Call this man a cab, to take him home
Sleep, stupid drunkard, do not drive
So you can hope to stay alive

Golden liquids filled your glass
Knocked you right down on your ass
Sleep stupid drunkard, do not drive
So you can hope to stay alive

Call this man a cab, to take him homeward
Call this man a cab, to take him home
Sleep, stupid drunkard, do not drive
So you can hope to stay alive
-----
Boy, you'll be a hungover man, hungover man tomorrow
Boy, you'll be a hungover man, hungover man tomorrow
I can't get up from my pillow, I only suffer these weird sensations
'Cause in the middle of intense libations, I chugged down
Boy you'll be a hungover man, hungover man tomorrow
Boy you'll be a hungover man, hungover man tomorrow
-----
Oh yeah, all right
What the heck am I gonna drink, tonight?

[drum solo]

Love booze....[repeat many times]

[guitar solo]

And in the end, the way you stink
Is all because of what you drink
Aaaaaah
Instead of "Budweiser", you can substitute "Heineken", "Ballentine", "Genesee", or any beer name with the same cadence.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   6
 7
 7
 

User Comments

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Agrimorfee - May 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Damn, Steve. I had been toying with completing the side 2 medley on a theme of boozing since forever! (see my "The Drinking", "She Threw Up In My Bathroom Toilet", and "Muscatel Man")
But you completed it first, and completed it very well!! Loved the nod to "In Heaven There Is No Beer" I take back that 4 for pacing, this should have been voted 555.
Have I invited you to Amiright Idol? See http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?topic=32272.0 for details and to ask any questions.
alvin - May 22, 2008 - Report this comment
great job on this one...masterfully written
McKludge - May 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Liked the "sleep stupid drunkard, do not drive" line. 555

It was a good choice to stick with Budweiser in the parody. Genesee or Ballantine are better pacing/scanning subs for "polythene," but they are regional brews, so not everybody has heard of them, particularly the Europeans in the audience.
Steve K. - May 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Ag, al & McK. Ag - "In heaven there is no beer" is old favorite of mine. McK - When I was a kid in NY state, too young to drink beer legally, I remember commercials for Genesee, in which people who had moved away talked about how they missed Genesee beer. Then I moved away, and years later visited the area and tried some Genesee. I thought it was awful.
UnKnownVotress - May 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Gee, I'm so thankful to our God above, that this 'problem' is not one of mine! Note: the beer is much superior in Tuscany, no bitter after taste!
AFW - May 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Two superb drinking ditties back to back
AFW - May 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Forgot to mention...great line!....Beer is never owned, it's rented.

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