Ralph, you're screwing us big time,
Ralph, there's just too much on the line,
Ralph, withdrawal your candidacy, RAAALPH!

When you were younger, so much younger than todaaay,
Consumer advocacy was how you made your way,
But now you're simply running on an ego triiip,
Bush might win again, so let me give you a little tip,

Ralph, your screwing up the big electiooon,
Ralph, pull out right now with your erectioon,
Ralph, why don't you just become a Mexican,
Kerry APPEASE that old Lebanese.

You helped elect a bum back in the year two thousaand,
Don't tip the balance once more letting that louse win.
Ralph, you're hurting Kerry though he would be a great Preeez,
Go back to making sure we have child-proof dispensers of Pez

Ralph you're on an ego trip you Bastaard,
Ralph you're just a 70-year-old Neeerd,
Ralph your running this time is Absuuurd,
Kerry APPEASE that old Lebanese.

When you were younger, so much younger than todaaay,
Consumer advocacy was how you made your way,
Ralph if you pull out you might get in Kerry's cabineet,
But if you help him lose, we'll know you are simply a twit.

Ralph, your screwing up the big electiooon,
Ralph, pull out right now with your erectioon,
Another unwanted pregnancy unconscioon-
able PLEEASE stop you Lebanese.