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Song Parodies -> "Help Me Ronco"

Original Song Title:

"Help Me Rhonda"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Beach Boys

Parody Song Title:

"Help Me Ronco"

Parody Written by:

Stan Hall

The Lyrics

Sell Me Ronco

Well, while you were around I hardly ever even went to bed
I’d stay up late at night buyin’ your next “best thing since sliced bread”

There was nothin’ that I would not buy
When Ronny P. would look me in the eye
And say he’d sell me Ronco
Gizmos (with spare parts).

Chorus 1:
Sell me, Ronco, sell, sell me, Ronco.
Sell me, Ronco, sell, sell me, Ronco.
Sell me, Ronco, sell, sell me, Ronco.
Sell me, Ronco, sell, sell me, Ronco.
Sell me, Ronco, sell, sell me, Ronco.
Sell me, Ronco, sell, sell me, Ronco.
Sell me, Ronco, please
Gizmos (with spare parts).

My hubby said “If you don’t get a life, you’re gonna lose you man!”
And so I told’im, “Do what Simon says, just ‘[m]ake a new plan, Stan.’”

Now, Ronco, I just wanna cry!
Since you went bankrupt and said good-bye
Who’s gonna sell me, Ronco
Gizmos (with spare parts)?

Chorus 2:
Tell me, Ronco, tell, tell me, Ronco.
Tell me, Ronco, tell, tell me, Ronco.
Tell me, Ronco, tell, tell me, Ronco.
Tell me, Ronco, tell, tell me, Ronco.
Tell me, Ronco, tell, tell me, Ronco.
Tell me, Ronco, who’ll sell me Ronco?
Sell me, Ronco, please
Gizmos (with spare parts)!

Repeat Chorus 1

Repeat Chorus 2

© Stan Hall Apparently, Ronco will sell me Ronco. According to Wikipedia, "On June 14, 2007, Ronco filed Chapter 11 in U.S. bankruptcy court. Paperwork filed showed that Ronco creditors, the largest of which is Popeil himself, were owed US$32.7 million." Yet even as I type the offcial Ronco website e-vends all those Popiel/Ronco favorites, new and old (including the Pocket Fisherman that Alvin never actually owned). Seems Ronco did a whole Phoenix cycle and I missed it completely. :-)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   8
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 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stan - February 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Dag-nabbnit ... title should read "Sell me Ronco," not "Help ..." Guess _I_ need some help w/ transcriptive attentiveness. :-( :-)
alvin - February 12, 2008 - Report this comment
funny concept...i bought it !
Tim Hall - February 12, 2008 - Report this comment
5 smokeless ashtrays for you!
John Barry - February 12, 2008 - Report this comment
I'm sending in my $15.
Stan - February 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, folks ... tho' I really should credit my the Popiel Parody Penner I bought at ROnco's site for this one. :-)
John Jenkins - February 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Clever concept, but a bit repetitious.
Michael Pacholek - February 14, 2008 - Report this comment
I knew I would like this one from the moment I saw the title. How much would you pay for this comment? But wait! If you act now, I'll throw in these five-ratings!
Matthew Lesko (Question Mark Coat Guy) - March 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Fabulous parody... makes me want to... "ACT NOW WHILE SUP-FIVES LAST!"

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