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Song Parodies -> "Eva Longoria"
Original Song Title:
"Eve of Destruction"
Original Performer:
Barry McGuire
Parody Song Title:
"Eva Longoria"
Parody Written by:
Spaff.com
The Lyrics
The "Weekly World" - it's your religion
That and tabloid - television
You read the gossip rags - with no derision
You watched the Jackson trial - agreed with their decision
Your lack of skepticism needs - supervision
But you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
I'm bonkin' Ev
-a Longoria?!
Yes, I understand - that I'm - kinda obsessed
& Yes, I crave her show - and - watch it undressed
But I swear we're in love - it's a big nookie-fest
And my Housewife confessed - my mad skillz are the best
But I never would have guessed
That YOU'D be unimpressed
And you'd tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
I'm bonkin' Ev
-a Longoria!
Yeah, you still believe - there's al-i-en abduction
And Diet Coke - aids - weight reduction
We'll still find Saddam's - wea-pons of mass destruction
Brad and Angelina - ain't tried reproduction
Survivor's a real - unscripted production
Medicinal pot's - worth - a tax deduction
And J. Lo's caboose - ain't had liposuction
But you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
I'm bonkin' Ev
-a Longoria?!
Why the heck would YOU - suspect we're not dating?
I've never met someone - so indiscriminating
You claim you still like - fat-free mayonnaise
One gunman could cause - deaths like JFK's
Your drive-a-Hummer craze - don't raise UV rays
You can cure all the gays - including Sean Hayes
You're the last one buying - that alibi of OJ's
Don't tell me
Over and over and over and over again, my friend
You don't believe
I'm bonkin' Ev
-a Longoria!
Um, please please, some-ONE believe
I'm bonkin' Eva Longoria?!
That and tabloid - television
You read the gossip rags - with no derision
You watched the Jackson trial - agreed with their decision
Your lack of skepticism needs - supervision
But you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
I'm bonkin' Ev
-a Longoria?!
Yes, I understand - that I'm - kinda obsessed
& Yes, I crave her show - and - watch it undressed
But I swear we're in love - it's a big nookie-fest
And my Housewife confessed - my mad skillz are the best
But I never would have guessed
That YOU'D be unimpressed
And you'd tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
I'm bonkin' Ev
-a Longoria!
Yeah, you still believe - there's al-i-en abduction
And Diet Coke - aids - weight reduction
We'll still find Saddam's - wea-pons of mass destruction
Brad and Angelina - ain't tried reproduction
Survivor's a real - unscripted production
Medicinal pot's - worth - a tax deduction
And J. Lo's caboose - ain't had liposuction
But you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
I'm bonkin' Ev
-a Longoria?!
Why the heck would YOU - suspect we're not dating?
I've never met someone - so indiscriminating
You claim you still like - fat-free mayonnaise
One gunman could cause - deaths like JFK's
Your drive-a-Hummer craze - don't raise UV rays
You can cure all the gays - including Sean Hayes
You're the last one buying - that alibi of OJ's
Don't tell me
Over and over and over and over again, my friend
You don't believe
I'm bonkin' Ev
-a Longoria!
Um, please please, some-ONE believe
I'm bonkin' Eva Longoria?!
(c) 2005+ Desperate Spaff
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 3 | 3 | 4 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 15 | 15 | 15 |
User Comments
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Don't Know The Original Song? It's temporarily available at spaff.com/dktos
Thank you for putting this out before I spent any more time on my version of this, called THE EVE OF CREATION. This is ten times better than anything I had going. And you can have Ms Longoria...Terry Hatcher and I think you make a cute couple :-))
I'm surprised at you , Spaffer! I told her NO!
my favorite of the day...5s
well, you lined em all up, and you shot em all down here, Spaff - hit all targets bulls-eye, but don't tell ME Survivor's scripted (and if it is, I don't want to know)....and if you're bonking Eva, well, I don't want to know that either (sniff - she seems like such an innocent) - 555
Funny and educational. I didn't know who EL was until now.
Tremendous as a pair of Hollywood boobs (or even a whole cast of them). Impressive '-uction' and '-aise' rhyme sequences. You've done it again!
I'll believe you, Spaff...as long as you talk her into starring in my remake of "The Story of O"....555
The mystery of the Spaff has been solved - he is San Antonio point guard Tony Parker. Now there are two new mysteries - how does he find the time and who was that guy from the Robert Lund TV feature? (the one who isn't robert lund)
I cracked up the instant I saw the title and the author. I knew it would be JUST THAT FUNNY. I swear, I did. And you came through. Now, I've been a Teri Hatcher fan for a long time (roughly since her 1988 appearance on "Star Trek: The Next Generation"), but Eva Longoria makes a pretty good Roger Maris to her Mickey Mantle. But there is one ahead of Teri on my would-be "depth chart." Tell ya what, Spaff, I'll make a deal with ya: I'll get you hooked up with Eva if you'll find a way to split up Catherine Zeta-Jones and her sugar granddaddy. (Yeah, right. I'm good, but I'm not THAT good!)
LOVED IT! 555!
Sorry to stay away so long, y'all - as E-Thang revealed, I was busy beating the Pistons. (By the way, "beating the pistons" is my new favorite euphemism.)
Dee Hatched: "Eve of Creation" - heh heh. Stop beating the pistons and WRITE IT.
Ricksy: When she ordered you to stop beating the pistons? I can relate.
scholar rhodes: It's always an honor to win the "Favorite of Alvin Rhodes Today" (F.A.R.T.) award. More fun than beating the pistons.
s2art: Just keep telling yourself that about both Survivor or Eva. I won't burst your bubble. Certainly you've accepted by now, however, that Portia DeRossi has switched teams. I think it was skinny-dipping with Elle MacPherson in "Sirens" that pushed her over the edge, so I really can't blame her. (That scene is great for beating the pistons, by the way.)
Johnglebarry: I'm honored to have participated in your education. Use your newfound EL knowledge wisely (like I do - to beat the pistons).
Leonardo DeJay: Done what? Beat the pistons?
Overlord Kristof: With John Barry's "E.L." and your "O." there should be a joke there somewhere. But I can't find it - I'm too busy beating the pistons.
E-Thang: That's the real Tony Parker. He's a white dude with glasses. They had to cut all the scenes of me because of the incessant piston-beating.
Michaelopedia: Let me get this straight: If CZJ splits up with MD, you'll hook me up with EL? Well A-OK! (And that thought really makes me wanna beat the pistons.)
Local Celebrity: THANX! [Background sounds of pistons being beaten.]
Dee Hatched: "Eve of Creation" - heh heh. Stop beating the pistons and WRITE IT.
Ricksy: When she ordered you to stop beating the pistons? I can relate.
scholar rhodes: It's always an honor to win the "Favorite of Alvin Rhodes Today" (F.A.R.T.) award. More fun than beating the pistons.
s2art: Just keep telling yourself that about both Survivor or Eva. I won't burst your bubble. Certainly you've accepted by now, however, that Portia DeRossi has switched teams. I think it was skinny-dipping with Elle MacPherson in "Sirens" that pushed her over the edge, so I really can't blame her. (That scene is great for beating the pistons, by the way.)
Johnglebarry: I'm honored to have participated in your education. Use your newfound EL knowledge wisely (like I do - to beat the pistons).
Leonardo DeJay: Done what? Beat the pistons?
Overlord Kristof: With John Barry's "E.L." and your "O." there should be a joke there somewhere. But I can't find it - I'm too busy beating the pistons.
E-Thang: That's the real Tony Parker. He's a white dude with glasses. They had to cut all the scenes of me because of the incessant piston-beating.
Michaelopedia: Let me get this straight: If CZJ splits up with MD, you'll hook me up with EL? Well A-OK! (And that thought really makes me wanna beat the pistons.)
Local Celebrity: THANX! [Background sounds of pistons being beaten.]
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