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Song Parodies -> "Girl From East Toledo"

Original Song Title:

"Girl From Ipanema"

Original Performer:

Astrud Gilberto

Parody Song Title:

"Girl From East Toledo"

Parody Written by:

PMS

The Lyrics

This song is for Matthias's White Trash Album. This song is NOT autobiographical despite the PMS reference. East Toledo is considered by some to be the redneck capital of NW Ohio.
Pissing, moaning, bitching and sqauwkin'
The girl from East Toledo is sulkin'
At her dead end job
Down at the Pharm.
Broad of beam she's beefy and burly,
And with her tendency to be surly.
She's liable to inflict
Bodily harm.

Oh, you had best not come messin'
With her when she's PMS-ing
The profanities she can gush
Makes sailors and truck drivers blush.

At the honky tonk her goodies a- flashin'
The epitome of trailer trash fashion
An outfit that reveals
All of her (uh)charms.
A leather collar circles her gullet.
She has glitter mousse in her mullet.
And french braids in the hair
Under her arms.

Thinks she's ev'ry man's desire
In hot pink spandex attire.
Sporting Knock-me-down-f**k-me shoes
And fewer teeth than tattoos.


She had to cut short her education
She got knocked up before graduation.
And had to drop out
Of Junior High.
She's never seemed to deem it a trauma
To know big sister's also her mama.
First cousin, grandpa, dad
All the same guy.

I must say only a green fool
Would take a dip in that gene pool.
You'll have kids born minus a nose,
And fourteen fingers and toes.

Every kid that's plopped out her pelvis
She swears to God was fathered by Elvis
While she was aboard
His UFO.
I can only draw the conclusion
She lives a life of desperate delusion
The details of which you
Don't want to know
You don't want to know...

The Pharm is a discount store 'round these her parts
A mullet is an ugly hair do favored by rednecks

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   6
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User Comments

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alvin rhodes - September 21, 2006 - Report this comment
my favorite of the day...what a scream
TJC - September 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Excellent! Very funny.... particularly loved "A leather collar circles her gullet. She has glitter mousse in her mullet." and..."At the honky tonk her goodies a- flashin' The epitome of trailer trash fashion"!
AFW - September 21, 2006 - Report this comment
You paint a graphic and very humerous picture, here...top fives
PMS - September 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks alvin, TJC and AFW.
Stuart McArthur - September 21, 2006 - Report this comment
very witty and funny lines, PMS, esp "fewer teeth than tattoos, the genepool rhyme, and the whole last verse - 555 (unfortunately, Matthias will tell you that the White (Trash) Album consists of parodies of, and only of, all the songs on the White Album
PMS - September 21, 2006 - Report this comment
OOPS Seems I've missed whole point again.
Lionel Mertens - September 21, 2006 - Report this comment
5's
Matthias - September 21, 2006 - Report this comment
This is good, but I'm sorry to tell you that Stuart is right, this is good but I can't add this sorry
Red Ant - September 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Yes, 'tis a shame this won't be on that album, because it was so good. "And fewer teeth than tattoos"; what's wrong with 25 tattoos?!
Matthias - September 22, 2006 - Report this comment
If you do want to contribute PMS, help is much appricated. We still have these positions open: Glass Onion, Happiness is a Warm Gun, I Will, Julia, Yer Blues, Long, Long, Long, Revolution, Savory Truffle, AND Cry Baby Cry
PMS - September 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Stuart, Lionel, Matthias and Red Ant. I'd be honored to tackle "Glass Onion". Too bad someone already has "Bungalow Bill" my muse and I came up with a good one for that. I might submit it later so as not to step on anyone's toes.
Michael Pacholek - September 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Girl from East Toledo? That was no girl, that was Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger!

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