Wakin' up to the frying pan
And washin' off eggs and scum
And when I knew I had to cook another meal
Oh, it made my life humdrum
Before the day I met you
I used to eat out
But now I'm making breakfast and cleaning grout

So I make a meal
One rotten deal
You make me feel like a
Spatula woman

When your stomach's growlin' big and loud
I hear you hollar "Feed me!"
I know now how those "battered" women feel
It's just for pancakes that you need me
I make another plateful
It's what I'm livin' for
I'm chained to this here griddle
Waiting for the cry of "More!"

So I make the meal
Chop, bake and peel
You make me feel like a
Spatula woman

Oh Tubby, what you've done to me
You make me want to run and hide
Run and hide
And I, I'm gonna be grossed by you
Because this kitchen is such a dive
Oh, it's no fun for me
And it's true because this whole house is such a dive

I cook the meal
You eat and squeal
You make me feel like a
Spatula woman
Another meal
Hotcakes and veal
This life ain't real for a
Spatula woman