Hello Mugger,
You old bugger,
Do not rob me,
I'm a slugger..
I will flatten
You, like Tyson
You will think
You're underneath a herd of bison

Hello tough guy,
Big old rough guy
I'm no wussy,
Powder puff guy..
If you jump me
You'll be sorry..
"Victim clobbers his attacker"
Reads news story

I'm not beefy,
Kinda' lanky
But don't take no
Hanky panky..
You'll be pleading
Like a beggar
More than once,
'Cause I'll be back like
Schwarzenegger

Hello gunman,
You're just one man
Maybe you had
Better run, Man!
I can handle
Half a dozen..
I learned judo
And karate from my cousin

Watch your back..there, Mister mugger
One quick swift chop to the jug'lar
I've seen Stallone in "Rocky" seven times..
So, I can take care of you slimes,,
I'll show you..what seperates the men from boys
I'll clobber you..yet maintain poise
If you attempt a fray
I'll make this your worst day..

Do not fluff off
Me as easy,
Or your tummy
Could get queasy
Us old Germans
Have determines..
I will take you, make you
Sound like Ethel Mermans

Make no mistakes,
Man of booger,
You are messin'
With a cougar..
I could scare off
Freddy Krueger
If all fails
Inside my coat's this
Faithful Luger..