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Song Parodies -> "Swing"

Original Song Title:

"King"

Original Performer:

Years & Years

Parody Song Title:

"Swing"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2015 self-challenge. You know how I said in the bottom comments of "Slide" that I prefer the swings? Time to prove it!
I've liked the playground since I was 'bout fi-ive
Playin' until ni-i-i-i-i-ine
Must admit I've never left it behi-ind
Though I've grown so hi-i-i-i-i-igh
I'm gonna take the risk that I might break that shit
Squeezin' my giant glutes in that seat's painful, dude
It's the reason I've tried all of those die-ets, mi-ind
Don't care that they're healthy, that's ri-i-ight

Cause oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
I love the swi-ing though I'm way too-oo ta-a-all
And oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Long for that bree-eeze from the to a-and fro-o-o
That to a-and fro-o-o

Always remember how I used to try-y
To loop round or fly-y-y-y-y-y
Might think that me tryin' it now at my-y age
Is mad, you'd be ri-i-i-i-i-ight
I don't care that the Mythbusters have busted it
It should be plain to you that I've got ten screws loose
I wanna go so high that I could touch the-e sky-y
Or pay a huge destruction fi-i-i-i-ine

Cause oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
I love the swi-ing whether big o-or sma-a-all
And oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Don't care who see-ees me go to a-and fro-o-o-o

Those rubber chairs will somehow carry-y all
My skewed weight distribution becau-ause thi-is is my-y li-ife
Oh-oh, that's ri-i-i-ight
Oh-oh-oh, my-y li-ife
Oh-oh, is shi-i-i-i-i-ite
Oh-oh-oh

But oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Still love the swi-ing though I know I-I'll fa-a-all
And oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
I'll always sei-eize on the to a-and fro-o-o
That to a-and fro-o-o

I won't, I won't, I wo-on't shove down tho-ose kids
I won't, I won't, I wo-on't be such a-a dick
I won't, I won't, I wo-on't pull that dou-ouche shit
I won't, I won't, I wo-on't, tempted by-y it

No, I don't actually try to squeeze my fat arse into the swing set. A) I know that physics won't let that happen and B) that involves being near a swing set, which involves going outside, which I never do unless I have to.

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