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Song Parodies -> "Painful Blisters"

Original Song Title:

"Hey, Soul Sister"

Original Performer:

Train

Parody Song Title:

"Painful Blisters"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Don't Stop The Pop" self-challenge. Did you know that "skin and blister" is Cockney rhyming slang for "sister"? That's all I got, enjoy!
He-ey
He-e-e-e-ey
He-e-e-e-ey

Oh shit, the pain
It's still throbbing in my puny brain
I guess it could be the blisters
That stopped the higher functions of my mind
I count sixteen
They're not spread evenly, I'm such an utter dweeb
I know it's not important
My OCD makes it torture
They're all on the right

Painful blisters
My day's down the shitter
Cause they're really gross, hurts, you know
How they got there I do not know
Painful blisters
I've no vested int'rest in the pus in you-ou
Oh my

He-ey
He-e-e-e-ey
He-e-e-e-ey

So I whine
Bout how they make my shoes not fit right, really
Ruining my complexion
Hurt more than OneDirection
I cannot lie I I-I-I-I
It's not a jest
Looks like something's about to burst out of my chest
So stop laughin', dude
I'd punch you, you heartless wanker
But the knuckle pus would spurt into my eyes

Painful blisters
Freaky mutant pimples
There's some on my toes, sucks, you know
Since my pain threshold's really low
Painful blisters
Too much of a sissy to take pins to you-ou
Oh my

They're why I'm refusin' hugs
Cause I don't wanna smear pus on me
Was I bit by a bug?
Or some weird disease I ain't heard of?
Could be, or I've eaten too much food with grease
Attacked in my sleep by some bees
Don't know much 'bout biology, you see

Painful blisters
Really hard to miss 'em
Cause they're huge, you know, really gross
There's no more on the way, I hope
Painful blisters
Wish they would just piss off, I'd prefer the flu, that's right
Painful blisters
And I'm kinda skint, can't see the doc, I'm screwed
It's shite
He-ey
He-e-e-e-ey
He-e-e-e-ey
So shite
He-ey
He-e-e-e-ey
He-e-e-e-ey
Real shite

Two songs left...just the country song I've barely heard and Ke$ha...oh deep, unabiding joy...

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   1
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User Comments

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Matthias - August 27, 2013 - Report this comment
Back when I was a Boy Scout and I did a lot of hiking I got blisters all the time and they do totally suck. I think you're mixing up pimples and blisters in this parody though because blisters don't really explode with pus (that's what pimples too) and blisters also don't come from eating greasy food (that's acne) blisters are caused by irritating rubbing of the skin
bobpiecheese - August 27, 2013 - Report this comment
Well, that's what the last line of the third verse is for...

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