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Song Parodies -> "Pants Junkie"

Original Song Title:

"Dance Monkey"

Original Performer:

Tones and I

Parody Song Title:

"Pants Junkie"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Something to Believe In" self-challenge. You're gonna have to face it you're addicted to pants. And to be clear, that's "pants" as in "trousers", not as in "underpants".
They say I should stop before my bank's drained dry
Look straight past the sheer joy that I always find
With a new pair of denim covers for my thighs
For just two legs, you think my pants count is too high
Ooh-ooh, I see you, see you, see you roll your eyes
And oh my, I-I, I don't know why
You, you hate me, hate me, hate me for my style
Say I'm addicted to new pants, like that's a crime

Want no new pants for me, pants for me, pants for me, oh-oh-oh
No more new jeans, gonna steer me far away from any store
You're so rude to me, rude to me, rude to me, ayy-ayy-ayy
Not like they're drugs, I think you've gone too far, okay

Sure, my trousers drawer is deeper than it's wide
Got a pair for ev'ry minute of my life
I'm still no junkie but for pants, that's such a lie
If I have sev'ral thousand pants here, that's my right
Ooh-ooh, I see you, see you, see you strike that light (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
And oh my, I-I, I don't know why
You, you hate me, hate me, hate me for my style (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
But to incinerate my pants? That's crossed a line

Want no new pants for me, pants for me, pants for me, oh-oh-oh
No more capris or whatever label is in ev'ry store
You're so rude to me, rude to me, rude to me, ayy-ayy-ayy
It's not a "hoard", they're just some spares in case of stains
No new pants for me, pants for me, pants for me, oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Because you see something dangerous in how I clean out stores
You're so rude to me, rude to me, rude to me, ayy-ayy-ayy
See fit to punch me when my steps go Target's way

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (you are such a pain, you should really stay)
Right the hell away (whoa-oh, whoa-oh, oh)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh (put down that small flame, my trousers will stay)
What's your problem (ooh-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah)?

No new pants for me, pants for me, pants for me, oh-oh-oh
You say I need six or seven pairs, the same again for shorts?
You're so rude to me, rude to me, rude to me, ayy-ayy-ayy
That's not enough, I don't have each style in all shades
No new pants for me, pants for me, pants for me, oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Do you see me making fun of you for all your boogie boards?
You're so rude to me, rude to me, rude to me, ayy-ayy-ayy (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
I may have one pair 'round your neck, still, douse that flame
Douse that flame

Given how successful this song was, I'm not gonna act like I'm one of the few people who has no problem with Tones' singing voice. I am gonna say that m ability to do so was probably helped by my lack of an issue with Jason DerĂ¼lo.

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Total Votes: 1

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