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Song Parodies -> "Bad Man's Best Friend"

Original Song Title:

"Bad Girlfriend"

Original Performer:

Theory of a Deadman

Parody Song Title:

"Bad Man's Best Friend"

Parody Written by:

Abbott Skelding

The Lyrics

Original Song:
My girlfriend's a dog magnet
She loves them with a passion
Once bought, can't stop, teach him tricks, out on walks
Shaking hands, he’ll chase the ball
Man this dog can do it all
Makes her smile, never frown
Takes him all around the town
Never naps, always fun
At our feet ‘till sun comes up
But when she’s not home
and it’s just us two alone
Her “lil’ Sweetie” shows a whole different side

He likes to chase the cat
He growls and shows his teeth
He tore apart the chair
Then he smashed the TV screen
I’d take him to the pound
But he bit my rear end
He’s scaring the kids, no doubt about it
He’s a bad man’s best friend

That dog, Satan’s spawn
On the lawn, “Something’s wrong,
I see a way different dog
than the one when you’re at home!”
She said, “You don’t know
what you’re talking about, so…
my Lil’ Sweetie sleeps in your place tonight
Man I, tried to tell her so
She told me to let it go
But I tried to tell her later that night…

“He’s tearing up the grass
and he bites at my feet
He’s shedding so much hair
and he does it purposely
He chased me through the town
and he drags his rear end
right on the carpet, no doubt about it
He’s a bad man’s best friend!”

Man, she thinks I’m wrong, I know I’m right!
I just can’t prove her wrong, she always takes the dogs side
And never my side

My girlfriend's a dog magnet
My girlfriend had to have him!

“He’s a lawn digger, chews my slippers.
Babe, it's over. Runt of litter!”
“We just got him,” then she wept
“I don’t want an argument!”

“Baby just why can’t you see
all the things he’s done to me!?”
She said “fine”, I was relieved
‘Till she kicked me out on the street!

Now I tear up her grass
Go running down the street
And I chew up her mail
Cause she chose him over me
Took a dump on her lawn
Did not think it would end
But now we are through, no doubt about it
Thanks to bad man’s best friend

He’s a bad man’s best friend
He’s a bad man’s best friend

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   7

User Comments

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Ausfahrt - August 11, 2011 - Report this comment
DKTOS but I don't like dogs so I like this parody
Old Man Ribber - August 11, 2011 - Report this comment
Hey Abbott! - I think my wife owned this dog's mother. She was one mean b*tch...the dog, not my wife! ;D
Porfle Popnecker - September 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Now "my girlfriend's a dog magnet" is going to be stuck in my head all day.
Matthias - September 09, 2011 - Report this comment
That's a pretty kick-arse original song. I love country-metal (that's what I'm calling this because it totally has elements of modern country in there). Good song. I like your Anti-Dog tirade because it goes well against my Anti-Cat tirade of last month.
SamuraiMaster - September 12, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I have my own reasons for disliking dogs. Therefore, I'm a cat guy.
Blaydeman - September 17, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Awwww! I'm totally a dog guy, but dogs definitly have some bad qualities, I'm not blind to that fact. But this was awesome!!!! I think this may be my favorite one of yours ever! And I love the OS!!!!!
Peter Andersson - September 18, 2011 - Report this comment
Abbott: You're barking up the right tree with this one.

Matthias: TOAD are signed to Chad Kroeger's (Nickelback) label, and they too are Canadian, listen to this song and then listen to Nickelback's Animal, besides that one being a tad faster the tow bands sounds are so similar that it's scary.
WCJ - September 26, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You should have named him Cujo instead of Magnet, LOL! 555! :-)
Jeff Reuben - September 30, 2011 - Report this comment
It's a dog eat dog world out there. Excellent song...I've learned never to get between a woman and her dog :)
bobpiecheese - September 30, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) TOAD sounds like Nickelback-lite. And that's not a bad thing in my book (I'm on of the few people on the interwebs who's willing to admit to liking Nickelback). Great parody here, man, what a biatch...and then there's the dog :D 555!
Glen S - February 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Yay dogs. Lots of good subs in here Abbott.

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