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Song Parodies -> "Fairest"

Original Song Title:

"Paris"

Original Performer:

The Chainsmokers

Parody Song Title:

"Fairest"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fai-" "Let me stop you right there, honey."
Ask me who is the fairest
Because my job is apparently just that now
A mirror's life already sucks, but wow
Dark arcane magic to work that out?
So lame, I swear it
What do you mean by "fair"? It's not clear now
Is it meant as a state of health?
Are the standards made by yourself?

For three months now, you've asked me who is fairer
The hidden implication is that "not you" is an error
Why ask me now to be your bad news bearer?
You know what my confession is, I don't think that you're fairer
I'm sure that you're not fairer
Real certain you're not fairer

Why ask me who's the fairest?
It's incredibly apparent to me right now
That if I don't say it's you, you'll pitch a fit
And I'll end up staring through loads of little bits
Wouldn't be pleasant
Although when compared to the whole round
Of the one single task, I'm so sick of it
I'd accept broken glass to be rid of it

For three months now, you've asked me who is fairer
Cause I could tell you anything and there would be no error
All I'm asked now is to be the news bearer
That your demeanour doesn't fit for you to be who's fairer

Your glare is too harsh, that's just a start
You never impart joy from your heart
No way it's you who's fairer, won't tell you you're the fairest
Fairest
Fairest, fairest
Fairest
Like hell it's you who's fairer (fairest, fairest)
Your grace is subpar (fairest), one ice-cold heart (fairest, fairest)
It may not seem smart to be this harsh (fairest)
Just can't declare you fairer (fairest, fairest)

Sure, toss me out, that won't prove that you're fairer
And you'll lose the one magic thing that can reword things clearer
I won't point out the one I think is fairer
Cause you'll do some rash, violent thing, hence why you're not who's fairer
Won't tell you who's the fairest (my trap's sealed now)
It ain't you who's the fairest (plain evil now)
Can't say your looks are fairest (a half-truth now)
Attitude's far from fairest (you're no saint now)
Most other folks are fairer, so you can't be the fairest

Fairest
Fairest, fairest
Fairest
Your Highness, you aren't fairer (fairest, fairest)
Fairest
Fairest, fairest
Fairest
It just ain't in your nature (fairest, fairest)
Might wear a crown (fairest), that don't mean that you're fairer (fairest, fairest)
Always look down (fairest) on those you say aren't fairer (fairest, fairest)
Sure, break me now (fairest), just proves that you're not fairer (fairest, fairest)
Fairest
Ev'ryone else is fairer (fairest, fairest)

It may just be because of how long it's been since I've seen it, but it never twigged for me that the evil queen was Snow White's stepmother. Then again, I never got that Bambi's mum got shot, so clearly I wasn't a very attentive child.

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How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

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