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Song Parodies -> "I've Farted"

Original Song Title:

"We're Artists"

Original Performer:

The Antipoet

Parody Song Title:

"I've Farted"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

To anyone who hasn't follwed a link to one of my earlier Antipoet parodies.. you can see the original here
I've farted
If you've a sensitive disposition
I sincerely recommend that you
Vacate the near position
It might be fatal
And difficult to forgive
You shouldn't really need to use an
Aspirator just to live

Do you have any idea
Of the depths of pain and torment
That you're liable to endure
If it escapes its containment?
And then it's erupting
With an arsehole's thunderclap
Imbuing all creation
With a miasma of crap

And you'll be affected
Laid low by the cut of cheese
Exacerbated by the fetid scent of dysent'ry
That's given the freedom
Explosively unconfined
Expressing pungent stirrings
Out of some smelly behind

(I'm sorry) I've farted
It has a chemical composition
So don't take out a cigarette
If you do not want ignition

(because it is) flammable!
And it might just go kabloom!
Incinerating me
And you, and everyone in the room

So punters, take cover
Stick your head into your sleeve
Try to find a gas mask
If you want to live and breathe
And save us from big jobs
Expelled from underneath
Polluting the air,
Parting your hair
And even rattling your teeth

There’s an Arse-cancelled grunt
It's being held in so well
That's internal air management
To help us with the smell
But will it work, or will I bust
How long can I hold on?
Will it end with an explosion
And a fucking awful pong

I've farted!
And I've got one more admission:
We could sell it to Syria
As a chemical munition
Because it's lethal
And I've got a lot to give
We shouldn’t really have to
Put on aspirators just to live
We shouldn't really need breathing apparatus
Just to live, but we do!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

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Leough - February 17, 2014 - Report this comment
Ah, the sweet smell of excess! 555! Thanks for providing the link.
Phil Alexander - February 18, 2014 - Report this comment
Thanks, Leough - re the link: the Antipoet are a simply awesome live act, I've gigged with them must be around a hundred times in the past few years, and I still get a kick out of seeing them live. There're quite a few more videos on Youtube, I recommend having a browse.
Leough - February 18, 2014 - Report this comment
And a-browsing I went. Saw some of yours there, too, but couldn't find any with you and the Antipoet together. I liked your performances better than theirs. I used to play acoustic guitar and sing at parties and on ski trip buses, but never professionally. You're much more talented than I ever was.
Phil Alexander - February 18, 2014 - Report this comment
:-) Thanks, you're too kind.. You'll probably have spotted one or two of me with Ian - the bass half, but I doubt there's any videos with all of us at the same time. Has happened, but not that frequently.

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