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Song Parodies -> "We Can Never, Ever Put Him Back Together"

Original Song Title:

"We Are Never, Ever Getting Back Together"

Original Performer:

Taylor Swift

Parody Song Title:

"We Can Never, Ever Put Him Back Together"

Parody Written by:

Matthias

The Lyrics

The tale of Humpty Dumpty as only Taylor Swift could tell it...
Humpty Dumpty really broke up, It's no yolk!
Yes, His eggshell split it's not too tough, He croaked!
King's horses and king's men can't do too much
Though he's... dead won't... go to... waste (What?!)

Turned his body into scrambled eggs
Sure, We've got issues but you're really good to taste, Yummy
And sunny side up really made my day
Cause you are just food, you broke up, we're cooking, we ate you

Ewwwwwwwwww...
You just fell off the wall, That bites!
Now foooooooooooooood...
No crime in frying you, we're frying you...

We... Can never, ever, ever, put him back together
We... Can never, ever, ever put him back together
We can try some duct tape, try some scotch tape, try some glue
But we... Can never, ever, ever, ever put him back together

Shell's severed...

I don't know why you sat up at great heights
Clumsy... Falling downward screaming, What a sight!
Smooth move... We tried to place back every piece we'd find
Pulled through utter wreckage, All that's left is just slime

Ewwwwwwwwwwww...
That wall idea wasn't bright
You fleeeeeeeeeeeeew...
With thyme we're cooking you, we're cooking you

We... Can never ever, ever, ever put him back together
We... Can never, ever, ever, ever put him back together
We can try epoxy, try some putty, super glue (super glue!)
But we... Can never, ever, ever, ever, ever put him back together

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww, Yuck!
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww. Yuck!
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww. Yuck!
No, No, No!!!

What did you think?! That you had some feathers, feathers?
Your mom was a hen but you're not clever

[King's Man]
Uggggg... The King says: "Steve go and help that Egg Guy bring my best glue"
And I'm like: "This mess... I mean this is disgusting he broke, like,
I can never put him back together. Like, Never"

No!

We... Can never, ever, ever, ever put him back together!
We... Can never, ever, ever, ever put him back together!
We'll try rubber cement, try some resin, Elmer's glue
But we... Can never, ever, ever, ever, ever put him back together!

He's , Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww, Not coming together!
Ewwwwwwwwwwwww
We, Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww, Can't put him together!

We tried each adhesive we could think of it's no use! (It's no use!)
Cause he... Is never, ever, ever, ever getting back together!

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.4
How Funny: 2.4
Overall Rating: 2.4

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   7
 7
 7
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   4
 4
 4
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - March 03, 2015 - Report this comment
If those one-bombs are from people who simply don't like Taylor Swift, I understand, but that's a dumb reason to punish you for a good idea well-executed.
Kanye - March 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Ya shoulda used a Beyonce OS!!!
Jonathan - March 03, 2015 - Report this comment
^ oh Kanye Bey's married and so are you move on! anyway I personally CAN'T STAND Taylor Swift but yeah good parody 5's

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