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Song Parodies -> "Traffic Lights"

Original Song Title:

"Dynamite"

Original Performer:

Taio Cruz

Parody Song Title:

"Traffic Lights"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Don't Stop The Pop" self-challenge. Sometimes the red light just goes on for way too long, ya know?
I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i
I'm in my van, van, van, van
And on my way to some big dance, dance, dance, dance
I see the green light and advance, -vance, -vance, -vance
But then it shifts to red, goddamn, damn, damn, damn
Yeah, yeah

And now I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck
I'm out of luck, no luck, no luck
Yeah

I wish this crap only occured sometimes
Ev'ry day-o, I don't get "Go"
It takes too long for that green bulb to shine
Now I'm late-o, that's a big low

Behind red lights I'm stuck
Ev'ry single time
I can never trust
These damn traffic lights
All those cars and trucks
They just zoom on by
But my lane is stuck
Damn those traffic lights

I'd like to move, move, move, move
Pedestrians strut like utter tools, tools, tools, tools
This light's been red for an hour or two, two, two, two
It must be broke, still means I'm screwed, screwed, screwed, screwed
Yeah, yeah

Been stuck too long, too long, too long
My mind is gone, it's gone, it's gone
Yeah

Wish this would only happen once or twice
Ev'ry day-o, green's a no-show
I'm sitting on my date as cars go by
I'm so late-o, traffic sure blows

Inside this lane I'm stuck
Can't go left or right
In the centre, bud
Damn these traffic lights
Radio, shut up
Songs you play are shite
I've no CD's, bud
Eff these traffic lights

I rarely see a green light
And now I'm late for my big dance thing
Wish that I could turn right
Be outta here, but I ain't moving
Red li-ee-i-ee-ight's too common
Green li-ee-i-ee-i-ight, I want you to show
'Cause I need to go
If I'd taken a bike, I'd be the-ere
Bu-bus, I'd be there
Take the train, I'd be there-ere-ere-ere-eh-eh-e-e-e-e

I get excited when the green light shines
I feel great-o, now I can go
But one car goes and now it's a red light
Isn't fair-o, is this a joke

Behind two cars, I'm stuck
I'll be here all night
Can't you change it up
Friggin' traffic lights
Runnin' out of fucks
To yell at them, right
One more thing that sucks
'Bout these traffic lights

How many parodies have I written about annoying things on the road? It's a rich mine for humour, that's for sure.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   1
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   2
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User Comments

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Matthias - July 17, 2013 - Report this comment
Agree with you on this one! I really, really, really hate getting red lights especially when you drive up about 100 feet and you get stopped by another one. It always happens when you need to be somewhere too or you're running late.
Jonathan - July 17, 2013 - Report this comment
a dynamite parody! 5's

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