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Song Parodies -> "Greet New Members"

Original Song Title:

"Treat You Better"

Original Performer:

Shawn Mendes

Parody Song Title:

"Greet New Members"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Children. Aren't they just the worst at times?
I don't like the noobs
I know that all my time accrued
Will just get wasted tellin' off these dumb children to their face
That they really shouldn't touch wet paint jobs
I don't think they have the minds for this Club of Creation
If they keep stickin' things in their gob

So why must I greet new members? They're such brats
Like, why can't one of you big jerks go deal with that?
You see that kid? He's almost nine, but still touches live wires
Not paid enough to handle this
Really hate to greet new members
It's a load of crap

I imbibe this booze
Because ev'ry day they hide a few
Small rocks in their pockets to throw through ev'ry window
Just because they dislike the view
Tell me, where'd you pick up these hell-raisin' little weirdos?
They don't wanna learn from you

Why do I have to greet new members? They're all brats
It's honestly way too much work for just one man
Remember that kid who set five seprate and distinct fires
In the time it took me to blink?
Thus I hate to greet new members
Such a load of crap
Total load of crap

It's me each time, never Sam, Jill or Mike
What did I do? This ain't right
Well sure, I once left a mitt on the lit stove
It's still disproportionate shite

Sick of havin' to greet new members cause they're brats
Each one a little douche, can't hurt much to cut slack
To someone who spends 9 to 5 until I'm drop-dead tired
So glue is not what they ingest
Bloody hate to greet new members
What a load of crap, bro
Giant load of crap
Complete load of crap

Firefox dictionary not recognising "noobs": makes sense. Firefox dictionary not recognising "Jill": whaaaaaaaaaaa?

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

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 5   2

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