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Song Parodies -> "Witches"

Original Song Title:

"Stitches"

Original Performer:

Shawn Mendes

Parody Song Title:

"Witches"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "50 Shades of Pop" self-challenge. A man finds a witch...and has no idea how to react.
May not be caught up on my lore
But I thought you were evi-il to the core
Was that out loud? Tha-at wasn't nice
Please don't he-ex me or turn my-y friends into mice
Isn't that the thing you do? Oh bro-other
Someone stop me from talking, it's not wise
To be frank here, you've got me flu-ummoxed
So come o-o-o-on

Hard to believe what you just to-old me
There's no evidence I ca-an see
No green skin or a grin so wicked
Don't know much 'bout witches
Should I fear for my-yself?
Will this bucket of wate-er help?
Will you find my pale skin delicious?
Don't know much 'bout witches

Brain says I should be on my way
May not loo-ook threatening, but I'd best be safe
But it seems that my legs are stuck
Is this cause I just want to know
More 'bout you? Or a spell you've thrown?
Are you even gonna take this pi-izza?
Good thing it's the last deliv'ry tonight
My boss is lax, so I'm not bo-othered
If I'm sta-a-a-alled

Did you make a deal to get ma-agic?
Or were you born with them? Nea-eat trick
Are you the cause of all my itches?
Don't know much 'bout witches
Can't find the words to-o yelp
Feel a cold chill over my-yself
Apologise for all my twitches
Don't know much 'bout witches

Thoughts rush through my head
"Run away from here, you dipshit"
I should move my legs
But I've more questions
Here's one: have you lived
Since the early fifteen-hundreds?
If so, you've aged well
Look 'bout twenty-six (if I had to guess)
Have you a broomstick?
Do you get good mileage on it?
Are all my questions (all my ridiculous questions)
Making you real pissed (very pi-i-issed)?
You don't look that ticked
Corner of your mouth is lifted, am I your amusement?

Did I sa-a-a-ay (that I'm very so-orry)
For the way I mocked your ha-at, please (so big and floppy-y-y)
Cause I said "You've got to be kidding
What are you, a witch? Shit" (what the hell was I thinking?)
And then you said "Ye-es" Hell
Total guilt and shame's what I-I felt (deep red are my chee-eeks)
Now all I want is your forgiveness
For mocking your witch-ness
Hope you find this pizza delicious
Have fun with your witch-ness
"Won't you come inside for a minute?"
If you wish, your witch-ness

Best case scenario: this is the backstory for this parody. Worst case scenario: froggy time!

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Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 10

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