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Song Parodies -> "Could Tell You"

Original Song Title:

"Good for You"

Original Performer:

Selena Gomez ft. A$AP Rocky

Parody Song Title:

"Could Tell You"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Part of my "50 Shades of Pop" self-challenge. The tale of a particularly dense mook who thinks he'll never spill the beans on the villain's dastardly plans but, well...
I've got my share of secrets, I'll keep them secret
No way I'm gonna spill i-it, mmm
I won't say the code is 1-4-2-4-2
You won't get info from me, hell no, you won't
Gonna keep these lips of mine zipped tight
I won't dare to squeal, yeah right
That the third floor's where you'll find the main meeting

So many secrets I could tell you, could tell you, no, no
But there's no way I will tell you, will tell you, no, no
No, you'll never learn how to get past the doo-oo-oors
How you'll need two bricks of C4
Though I could tell you, could tell you, I won't

Taken a vow of silence, no amount of violence
Will reveal where the boss hid that neckla-ace, mmm
Think you'll get that out of this guard? Too bad, too bad
I won't say it's in that tree, I won't, I won't
Won't divulge that if you climb real high
A hole in the tree, besides
You'll never know there's traps that need disarming

So many things that I could tell you, could tell you, no, no
There's no way in hell I'll tell you, I'll tell you, no, no
There's so many dangerous perils in sto-o-ore
But I won't say behind which door
That one, won't tell you, won't tell you, hell no, hell no, no-o
That's a no
I won't, I won't, no-o, fat chance, mmm

There's a trap door somewhere here
Won't say where, keep you in fear
No way I'll say it's lined out, no lie-ie (woo)

I'm gonna keep my mouth shut
Won't tell you where the boss is all holed up
I don't care if you stab me, kick and then punch
I won't say that he's three stories up
Third door on your left, that's the
Bathroom, he's inside a hidden bunk
But I won't tell you how it opens up
Won't reveal that the hot faucet in the tub
When it's twisted in reverse
Six times then the wall will unfurl, ooh
I won't tell you any of that crap, that much is true
Won't even say to duck when the bullets come flyin' through (oh-oh-oh)
Both from what's installed in and what the boss should be packin'
And I also won't dare point out the bulletproof suits (oh-oh-oh)
I'm not a snitch, I'm not (woo)
I pride myself on keepin' my mouth locked (woo), haha
Whatcha say, twerp? "That's all we needed, thank you"?
What's that mean, jerk? But I didn't say nothin', haha

I said that I would not tell you, not tell you (woo), no, no
There's nothin' that I did tell you, did tell you, no, no
Is one of you psychic or somethin'? Good lo-o-ord
Cause there's no way you could extort
From me, won't tell you, won't tell you, hell no, hell no, no-o
I won't, I won't
Thought that my lips were tight, I'm so fi-ired

It's kinda funny how often villains brag about their intelligence when they hire the dumbest people ever for their henchmen. Though maybe you could have that as part of their superiority complex, surrounding themselves with morons to make themselves feel smarter.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   1
 3   1
 4   1
 5   15

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