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Song Parodies -> "Manage My Gear"

Original Song Title:

"Man of the Year"

Original Performer:

ScHoolboy Q

Parody Song Title:

"Manage My Gear"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Vidja game inventories! Here's a really bad one!
Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-yeah
Huge monsters ev'rywhere
Wish that I had time, ain't fair, I'm runnin' far from here
All cause I can't manage my gear
Uh, ma-manage my gear, ma-manage my stuff
Really hurts how you stare
Just take a glance at what's there, all crammed in my pants here (here)
It's so hard to manage my gear (gear)
Uh, ma-manage my gear, ma-manage my stuff

I've got a lot of crap with me (m-me)
Hard to ha-handle with ease, geez, which one do I need (need)?
Swords cho-chop down easily
But shit, not all grunts are a breeze (breeze), might want an axe, see (see)
Maybe I need somethin' with reach
A longsword? Poleaxe? Quantity, it overwhelms me (me)
Maybe I should snipe enemies (-mies)
But that lacks simplicity (-ty), a-arrows I've found (found)
Got so many diff'rent types, scratch my crown (crown)
Shoot 'em down, but with ice arrow rounds? Maybe lightnin's good now (now)
God, I can't pick how I'll down (down)
Sti-sti-still time's frozen now while the menu's out (out)
Ye-yeah, still in deep shit right now
Wi-wish that in said menu now was a "random" to pound
Ye-yeah, next town, I'll enjoy
Flo-flo-floggin' the high-gold stuff (stuff), stuff (stuff, stuff)
Uh, uh, uh-huh
Stuff (stuff), stuff (stuff, stuff)

Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-yeah
Weird monsters ev'rywhere
But what's real crap and not fair that makes me run from here
Is how I can't manage my gear
Uh, ma-manage my gear, ma-manage my stuff
Which ones work? Can't compare
When pressure slams like the bear that killed me close to here (here)
Cause I couldn't manage my gear (gear)
Uh, ma-manage my gear, ma-manage my stuff
Really hurts how you stare (yeah)
I wanna smack you right there, that raised brow outta here (here)
You know I can't manage my gear (gear)
Uh, ma-manage my gear, ma-manage my stuff (stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff)
Uh, uh, uh, uh-huh (stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff)
Stuff, stuff (stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff)
Uh, uh, uh-huh (stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff)
Stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff
Uh, uh-huh (stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff)
Stuff, stuff (stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff)

Yeah, ye-ye-ye-yeah
Know that there's somethin' even worse (worse, worse)
Cause I guess the lead programmer (-mer) is a giant-ass jerk (jerk)
Buddy (yeah, yeah), lemme pitch you the curse, uh
Of a game with a dearth (yeah) of split containers (-ners, -ners, yeah)
Just a giant pit that'd work, dumbass
If you could organise it, first: an auto-order dearth (yeah, yeah)
One tap for A-to-Z works
My second problem: grouped items, jerk (woo), why-why leave that out (out, out)?
Been scrollin' down the list too long now (woo, woo, yeah, yeah)
Ain't a lot here to ask, concept's sound (sound, sound): group the things that are like (like, yeah)
Thought I had more flaws, wow (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I guess those two things drag drown the-the whole thing now (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Spill your thought process, clown (yeah, woo, woo, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Down for the count: that's your brain now (yeah, yeah)
Cause there was zero thought (woo, woo)
I-I-In how one would hoard stuff (stuff), stuff (stuff, stuff), yeah, yeah
Uh, uh, uh-huh
Stuff (stuff), stuff (stuff, stuff)

Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-yeah
Large monsters ev'rywhere
Wish I could stab it right there, cut off his bollocks here
But I just can't manage my gear
Uh, ma-manage my gear, ma-manage my stuff
Any nerd who's out there
Y'all agree that this ain't fair, this stupid system here (here)?
We all need to manage our gear (gear)
Uh, ma-manage our gear, ma-manage our stuff
Can't return it, that's fair (yeah)
It may be crap, but what's fair still functions, no bugs here (here)
But I still can't manage my gear (gear)
Uh, ma-manage my gear, ma-manage my stuff (stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff)
Uh, uh, uh, uh-huh (stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff)
Stuff, stuff (stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff)
Uh, uh, uh-huh (stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff)
Stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff
Uh, uh-huh (stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff)
Stuff, stuff (stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff)

No, I don't know why the "h" in "ScHoolboy Q" is capitalised, either.

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