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Song Parodies -> "They Call Me Bonaparte"

Original Song Title:

"Me and My Broken Heart"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"They Call Me Bonaparte"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Bullies can be so unimaginative, y'know?
Never really been that proud of my height
But I really hate those louts who take part
In makin' sure I don't forget it, their start:
They call me Bonaparte
At first it made me sad, I won't lie
'Twas a feelin' that I made depart
Because they haven't progressed much from that start
Still call me Bonaparte

Let's just get this main part here ticked off
Ol' Bonaparte? He was not
Really that short, truth bomb, whoa-oh-oh-oh
'Bout five foot seven, which for the time
Was more-than-av'rage height
Doubt that'll make 'em stop, whoa-oh-oh-oh
Could say he was surrounded a lot
By taller people, but we all know that's a waste

They won't reel when I talk 'bout old French heights
How they're really fascinatin', won't start
Because their brains will stay stuck on that one part
They call me Bonaparte
The propaganda made at the time
Showed him shorter to look a dumbarse
Pop culture didn't care, they'll stick to that part
Still call me Bonaparte

What's crazy: I wish they'd variate, please
They only yell that name, geez
Their bullyin' game sucks, whoa-oh-oh-oh
Could try "Waterloo-ser", would work fine
Learn how to Nelson, alright
That's all my brain spat up, whoa-oh-oh-oh
Because I won't research just so y'all
Can be an even better asshole, not insane

I don't really expect much from them, right
But I need a little break cause it's hard
To sit through their really pitiful trump card
They call me Bonaparte
Napoleon's too obvious? Fine
Still pathetic, get circled like sharks
Only to have 'em repeat that one damn part
Still call me Bonaparte
Ooh-whoa-oh, ooh-whoa-oh
They call me Bonaparte
Ooh-whoa-oh, ooh-whoa-oh
It's all they know, shit

Yeah, yeah, yeah (feels kinda bogus)
Yeah, yeah (Bonaparte), yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (wow, rather hopeless-ss-ss-ss-ss)
I don't seethe, cry for weeks
When all these geeks call me Bonaparte

Cause they really need to step up their lines (lazy)
Cause my feelin's haven't dumbed, they're still sharp
And now I look forward to their daily part
They call me Bonaparte
Feel better bein' on the short side
Because this is what they think is "harsh"
I'm skippin', say "hello", let 'em play their part
Still call me Bonaparte

I was originally gonna call this "The Man Named Bonaparte" and actually have it be out the historical figure, buuuuut I couldn't be buggered. Save all the research for history I'm interested in, y'know?

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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 5   6

User Comments

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Rob Arndt - August 05, 2018 - Report this comment
Interesting, but not my kind of parody of one of the greatest military commanders in history. His whole life has some strange facts too that could have been used: he was born on Corsica of Italian descent and had to learn French; he was afraid of cats and closed doors; his wife's dog attacked him on their first night of lovemaking; he cheated at cards and won over a chess machine called the Turk; he invented driving on the right side of the road, a primitive code of dots that led to Braille, and introduced canned meals into combat as standard with the French Army; he was an early victim of the British tabloids about his wife's infidelity; he sold Louisiana to the US for cheap; and lastly, his famous saying that " a good sketch was better than a long speech" became " a picture is worth 1000 words!" Also, Hitler was an admirer.

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