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Song Parodies -> "Don't Like Bacon"

Original Song Title:

"FourFiveSeconds"

Original Performer:

Rihanna, Kanye West & Paul McCartney

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Like Bacon"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "50 Shades of Pop" self-challenge. I know this is comitting heresy on the Internet, but I seriously don't like bacon. Hopefully I won't get any responses like the singer in the parody does...
Internet loves this stuff
But of that lot, I'm not one
Yes, bacon I don't like
In strips, rashers or in rinds
First two mean the same thi-i-ing
It seems a bit pointless

Yes, I don't like bacon, not lyin'
Don't care if you hurl i-insults my way
And say how a life without ba-acon is so borin'
Whate-ever, you eat what you like to eat
It's not what I want

No vegetarian
I just don't like the taste of i-it (kind of yuck, I've found)
Okay with chicken, beef and lamb (haven't had much turkey-ey-ey)
Even fine with pork and ha-am

I just don't like bacon, I've tried it
It's not my preferred fla-avour, sorry
Go 'head and whine 'bout it o-on Reddit or somethin'
I'll kee-eep tryna block the smell of fryin'
It's not what I want

You should kno-o-o-ow about my-y dislikes
Given how we share this apa-artme-e-ent
I've lost count of how many times
You learned 'bout this and fli-i-i-ipped
Ev'ry ti-ime that your eye-eyes go wide
I can't tell if it's all on pu-urpose
Just an attempt to get a rise
From me, cause that's a dumb pla-a-a-an
Yeah

It's not a phase of some ki-ind
Stop cryin' "epic fail"
Folks have diff'rent tastes, alri-ight?
Don't mock your dislike of snails
Not "heresy", you twi-i-it, mmm-hmm-mmm
It's only a pref'rence

Yes, I don't like bacon, not lyin'
Could you not overe-eact? Stop it
You're like the Macca's cashi-er takin' my order
Exce-ept they're paid to promote that option
And they will back o-o-off
Don't like bacon, I've tried i-i-it
But it's not like I ha-ad to vomit
I just don't see how the I-Internet adores it
Not tha-at I really judge them all for it
Might judge you, you putz

Rihanna, Kanye West and...Paul McCartney? Sounds legit. And by "legit" I mean "a legitimately good song, surprisingly".

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 3   2
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 4   2
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 5   4
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