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Song Parodies -> "Hot School Days"

Original Song Title:

"Locked Away"

Original Performer:

R. City ft. Adam Levine

Parody Song Title:

"Hot School Days"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "50 Shades of Pop" self-challenge. I've written melty parodies before, but this one's got a specific theme: reminiscing about exceedingly warm weather during school hours. Because what else would I write a parody about after yesterday's ice-hockey-themed tune?
I recall hot school days
When the sun begins to blaze
Be honest with me
I know you-ou've dealt with the-e same (you know)
Sweat drippin' down your balls (gross)
Like that Lil' Jon song (right)
A shared memory
Stuck in tha-at classroom a-all day
Thinkin' back no-ow (thoughts)

It would all begin with the mornin's long bus ride (yeah)
There's never any fans inside (sans fans)
Unfair then, unfair no-o-ow (such bullshit)
I don't know what fabric the seats were made of, mind (mind, mind)
It still got glued to my thighs (thighs)
Just resulted in more "o-o-ow" (too true) (uh-huh, whoo)
And even if you asked the driver "Please" (asked the driver nicely, please, uh)
"Could we open the windows more, please?" (open up the windows, please, uh)
Temp'rature would still be forty (that sucks)
And the windows are just too high, letdown (whoo) (uh-huh, uh-huh)
What's worse, the metal beside the seat (more like it surrounds the seat, uh)
Would brand you-ou like cow meat (branded like fresh cow meat)
For the rest of the day, would sting (a bunch)
Ev'ry time you waved your hand around (stings)

Recall these hot school days (c'mon)
Whenever the sun's ablaze (ablaze)
I know you agree
Ev'ryo-one's gone through the-e same (whoo)
If that day there were sports (whoo)
I would curse ev'ry god (whoo)
So much blasphemy (god)
Why not i-in the gym to-oday (whoo)?
Kiddin' me, outside's in flames (flames) (yeah)

But when you get inside, things don't improve that much (shit, shit)
Cause half the time, the air-con's bust (bust, bust)
And you miss that cool air flo-o-ow (flow, flow, flow, flow)
Even when it's on, it doesn't feel like that much (lame)
But the diff'rence is enough (barely, barely, barely)
To feel like the po-o-oles (just, just, just) (uh-huh) (oh)
But ev'rybody still perspi-ires, see (there's still perspiration, see, uh)
Goin' on a b.o. killer spree (sprayin' ev'rywhere so free, uh)
Like an Axe bomb went off here, geez (nose plugged)
We call it Lynx, that doesn't matter now (na-a-a-a-ah)
Ruins the mood just a tiny bit (kinda kills the mood a bit, yeah)
When your crush's armpits (gross) (your secret love's armpits)
Have a stain just like yours, it stinks (a bunch)
Well, it would, but (yeah) there's still that Lynx cloud (whoo)

Thinkin' of hot school days (whoo)
When the sun was all ablaze (ablaze)
You can't lie to me
You've expe-erienced the-e same (whoo)
Food all tasted of salt (whoo)
Cause of sweat that dripped off (right off)
Rinse it out? But see (what?)
Fountain li-ine stretches fo-or days

Askin', askin' "Can we leave, please (leave, please)?" (oh)
Askin', askin' "Is it now three (now three)?" (oh)
Thought it might be hot enough, shit
Not past the threshold for an early stop, why? (ooh)
Askin', askin' "Why can't we leave (we leave)?" (oh)
Askin', askin' "Can school sto-op, please?" Yeah (oh)
I think it should be a half-day
Is it just a degree off for that?
That's shi-i-i-i-i-i-ite (lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame, lame)

I think of hot school days
When the sun goes all ablaze
I know you're like me
Because you-ou've gone through the-e same
Couldn't take our shoes off
Peel away sweaty socks
'Til we got home, geez
Unifo-orm's where I la-ay blame
Black shoes on hot school days (no)
When the sun sent down its rays (hell no)
Makes no sense, you see
Once had sa-andals, went a-away
You had no uniform? (oh)
You're a lucky jerko-off (oh)
But my point still sticks (whoo)
You've mostly-y gone through the-e same

This ain't no-ostalgia, i-it's rage

The part about half-days is based on what my school actually did (and better still do, given how unforgiving Australian heat is). Same goes for the condition of the buses and the uniform bit - though bearing through those black shoes was kinda worth it when I got home to my air-conditioned house and peeled those socks off. Such relief.

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Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.2

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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 3   1
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 4   1
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