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Song Parodies -> "Public Relations"

Original Song Title:

"Congratulations"

Original Performer:

Post Malone ft. Quavo

Parody Song Title:

"Public Relations"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "How We Do It" self-challenge. A store manager is facing some really bad PR, so he calls his employees together for a meeting to discuss who is to blame for it all...
Mmm-ah-ah-ah
Yah, yah
Mmm-ah-ah-ah
Yah (hey)

Customer called and they were real peeved, bud
Said that their change was not handed, but flung
I was appalled, somethin' needs to be done
Didn't build this from nothin'
To lose out to bad public relations (ah-ah-ah)
Cause I know when you're at you're vocation (ah-ah, ha-ah)
You don't treat folks like an infestation (ah-ah)
It's outrageous, people say they really hate it (ah-ah)
Know I'd hate it (ah-ah-ah)

You're meant to be friendly, yeah
And not whisperin' death threats, please, yeah
Makes the company look classless, yeah
Service never should have malice, yeah
Heard one of you was too callous, yeah
'Bout someone's financial status, yeah
If a customer gets anxious, yuh
Don't out-and-out call 'em batshit, yuh
Because not only are they not close to that (yeah-yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah)
The av'rage customer, they sure hate that rude crap (yeah-yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah)
That shiny coupon? They're not gonna use that (yeah-yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah)
They'll flock to stores where employees aren't douches, yah, yah
"All of them are bitchin' and nobody here knows why"?
You saw them walk in and you didn't even say "Hi"
So their clothes were scruffy? Doesn't mean that they won't buy
Did you even read the rules? I quote them all the time

Customer called, boy, they were real peeved, cause
Some worker claimed that the whole store was shut
And I'm appalled cause that was half-past one
That's not our lunch break, buster
Hence our store has bad public relations (public relations)
Always lackin' in price information (ooh-ooh-ooh)
You don't need to know all, just what's basic (whoo!) (ah-ah)
No real range in feedback, they all say they hate it (that's not good enough) (ah-ah)
Yeah, they hate it (yah) (ah-ah-ah)

"I'm not racist, yeah-eah, ah-ah, I'm not racist (ayy, uh)"
That's news to me, when'd I say it (I say it)?
I didn't, no, didn't, that means that our public relations (uh)
Are worse than I heard, bad revelation (yeah)
You're makin' a mess on the floor, mate (floor)
Sauce and raspb'rry jam, looks like gore, mate (eugh)
Sharp glass, should have the inclination (ayy)
Get off your ass, don't blank it (man)
It's in (woo!) the name (damn name)
"Customer service", can't say (can't say)
That it's not your job to clean, no (hell no)
Or "they should use their eyes", I hoped (I had hoped)
I had hoped you would know (grr) lazy assholes (skrr)
Don't last in my (long) bus'nesses, no (yeah, ayy)
Let go (ayy), same with the rest of you dopes (ayy)
New crew's comin' on (ayy), hopefully their brains are on (ayy)

Don't try to stall, change isn't easy, son
Need to start way before you lose your job
I've been appalled for the last seven months
Reprimands all for nothin'
Now I'm stuck with bad public relations (oh! Ah-ah-ah)
It'll take a long slog of campaignin' (ah-ah, ha-ah, whoo-oo-oo-oo-oo)
To fix what they think of this location (oh! Ah-ah)
Gonna face it, soon they'll say that our place ain't shit (yah)
That we ain't shit (ayy)

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey

I think this song is about being happy with your success given one's background, but the the kinda dour beat squanders that a bit. Thankfully, Isosine came along to fix all that.

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Total Votes: 2

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