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Song Parodies -> "Horrible Pores"

Original Song Title:

"Hollywood Whore"

Original Performer:

Papa Roach

Parody Song Title:

"Horrible Pores"

Parody Written by:

Abbott Skelding

The Lyrics

Since I was four
A problem occurred
It’s scary, I wish it was over...

On my nose
And cheeks, they show
Everyone is gonna laugh
Face breaks out, won’t go to school
Man, I hate being a teenager!
Try to clean
But nothing, it seems
Will make it less awful
Plenty of zits
No acne cream
Makes me a model

Horrible pores
My face feels so sore
Can't take it no more,
The ladies say I’m like an ogre
And all over town
Folks think I’m a clown
Please help me, I just want this all gone NOW

Know what I’ll do, go outdoors
Go out to the garden
Hose in hand
On full blast mode
Gonna drown those blackheads
Takes a while
Won’t work, now I’ll
Go and try to find somethin’ else
Need first aid, it looks vile
It’s become one big zit!

Horrible pores
I’m waging a war
These tiny face holes
They’re crazy but their reign is over
Get mocked through the town
I always break out
I really need to solve this problem

I don’t know what’s wrong,
I just want to scream
I scrub every night, but still they won’t go away
Don’t know what I’ve done
To earn all this pain
I just want to cry and drown my sorrow and pain
I’ll go to my favorite place

Horrible pores
My self-esteem’s poor
This dinner will make me feel better
At KFC now
I’m shoveling down
No doctor will replace the colonel

Six piece, or more
I don’t care no more
So greasy, extra skin is awesome
No napkins around
I’ll wipe my hands now
On my face, ‘cause these pores are awful!

These pores aren’t closing?
These pores aren’t closing?
These pores aren’t closing!
These pores aren’t closing!

Bring me chicken, and you can leave the napkins, buddy!
He seems like a smart guy...apparently he doesn't realize that face + greasy chicken hands = a lifetime of acne issues.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   7

User Comments

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Max Power - October 18, 2016 - Report this comment
There's always the power of photoshop for the pores.
bobpiecheese - October 18, 2016 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Heh, what a dumbass. Well-worn topic but you did great stuff with it here, especially the ending, that was inspired. 555 more pimples!
Blaydeman - October 19, 2016 - Report this comment
(Artistry) This was pretty standard up until the twist at the end, which was a nice button. Not overly hilarious, but solid. I think this concept has been done to death and it's hard to reinvent the wheel. You usually come up with super unique stuff, as solidly written as this was, I was missing that Abbott flair.
Matthias - October 19, 2016 - Report this comment
This had a nice twist end where of course he has horrible pores when he does that to himself but at first I took it differently and he gave up trying to solve the situation and decided just to say screw it and rub chicken grease all over his face on purpose

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