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Song Parodies -> "Dismember My Foes"

Original Song Title:

"Wherever I Go"

Original Performer:

OneRepublic

Parody Song Title:

"Dismember My Foes"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Violence! Gore! Being unable to walk down to the shops! Some things you should just see coming...
If we're in a fight, I would not bet on you
Dismember my foes, that's what I'm known to do
My sword's gonna fly and will slice into you
I dismember my foes, it's gross but it's the truth

Left arm will fly, I'm aware that it's tragic
Because your right arm's less good at stuff, mate
Won't let you try it, hell no, you're still standin'
And I want blood cause I'm a tiny bit deranged
Ooh-ooh-ooh

When I'm in a fight, the survivors are few
Dismember my foes, its my trademark, it's true
I cut and I slice 'til I'm covered in goo
I dismember my foes and right now, pal, that's you

Can't wave goodbye to your arm cause I hacked it
Now you'll fall down, chopped your legs just the same
Blood's squirtin' high, in that fountain, I'm dancin'
You're no Black Knight, there's no flesh wound there, only pain
And that bit is lame, so played out and lame, lame, lame (ooh-ooh-ooh)

You got in a fight with me, proves you're a fool
Dismember my foes with the sharpest damn tool
Mad look in my eye, yet you thought that I'd lose?
I dismember my foes, it's a known fact to you
Dismember my foes, you ignored that, you lose, dude

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ah-ah-ha-ah-ah
And now you lay on the ground, bleedin' badly
Won't get your head lopped, cause I've got standards, I'm afraid
With it, you're still dumb, should've known that my skill is great
And so you're to blame, blame, blame

Brave of you to try, but one web search would prove
"Dismember my foes" is all that I can do
A poke in the eye or a mild nick? I'm screwed
Cause "dismember my foes"? What I was born to do
Not braggin' here, I'm only tellin' the truth (ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh)
Dismember my foes, whether real threats or you (ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh)
Dismember my foes in a minute or two, what I do, what I'm known for

Weird fact: I always have a right ball writing parodies about hideous violence, yet I have no interest in the horror genre. Huh.

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