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Song Parodies -> "Light Praises"

Original Song Title:

"Night Changes"

Original Performer:

One Direction

Parody Song Title:

"Light Praises"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Did you know that it's possible to weaponise damning with faint praise?
Somethin' I don't like: praises go straight to his head
He never fails to bring up what I've said
But I've got a sneaky plan, he won't catch on
So when he asks if I like his movie there
I'm sayin' "I've never seen somethin' like it"
It's not quite bullshit but truth's delib'rately lost

"That sure was interestin', buddy" (ooh-ooh)
The vaguest of nice words come from me (ooh-ooh)
"Got nice cinematography" (ooh-ooh)
He'll enjoy my light praises (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Rant and rave about what I've served up (ooh-ooh)
He'll look like a total numbnut (ooh-ooh)
While the rest is real horrible stuff (ooh-ooh)
He'll hold onto light praises (ah-ah-ah)
Technic'lly it's praise, it'll do (ooh-ooh)

But what if I find somethin' good amongst the shit?
Won't say it, I won't feed the ego trip
Also, this guy sucks, I won't find talent there, full stop
So I can't backhand him while he acts the twit?
False butter, he's too thick to see through it
And too proud to fess right up if he does twig on

He's showin' bad home movies daily (ooh-ooh)
At criticism, he'll get all rage-y (ooh-ooh)
Find the good points, one's there vaguely (ooh-ooh)
And give him his light praises (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Compliment how well the scene's lit up (ooh-ooh)
Don't say that the script straight up sucks (ooh-ooh)
But the clarity of it's brought up (ooh-ooh)
He'll accept the light praises (ah-ah-ah)
Technic'lly it's praise, it'll do (ooh-ooh)

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Obvious downside: praises still go to his head
Won't stop him braggin' 'til he's out of breath
But there's a potent diff'rence: what he's braggin' 'bout ain't much

Because there's pointin' out one's Grammies (ooh-ooh)
Then there's insistin' you've not done badly (ooh-ooh)
Since your stunt doubles all match, see (ooh-ooh)?
Braggin' 'bout your light praises (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Prove to all that you're a big numbnut (ooh-ooh)
I can bear how he won't shut up (ooh-ooh)
When it's all "Not one boom mic showed up!" (ooh-ooh)
Know he'll fall for light praises (ah-ah-ah)
Because it's still praise, buddy (ooh-ooh)
It's a kind of praise, buddy (ooh-ooh)
Technic'lly it's praise, it'll do (ooh-ooh)

I mean, I've never tried this, mostly because I've never palled around with an egotistical douche, but it seems like it might work. Egotistical douches are not known for their street smarts.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 4   0
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 5   1
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