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Song Parodies -> "Two-Month-Long December"

Original Song Title:

"Best Song Ever"

Original Performer:

One Direction

Parody Song Title:

"Two-Month-Long December"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I'm pretty sure everybody's aware of stores jumping the gun when it comes to Christmas. This is about that. Enjoy!
When I walk into a sto-ore (now)
Feels like Santa started barfin'
Trees and lights and gifts galo-ore (wow)
It's too early to be startin'
I'm like "Who set up the Chri-istmas tree
When it's barely even Ha-allowee-een?"

But it seems it's time: two-month-long December
Happens each year, why? It's an odd endeavour
To just throw lights like so when it hits November
I don't think it's right to prolong December
My brain is all no, no, no
But they're just like yeah, yeah, yeah
But I just say no (whoo!)

It's never done halfway, thou-ough (wow)
They just pile on decorations
Just got tinsel in my mou-outh (red tinsel in my mouth)
Not a very nice sensation
It's so cramped in here, it's ha-ard to breathe
Creepy reindeer are stari-in' at me-e

It just isn't right, two-month-long Decembers
Each year's sooner, right now it's just November
But you know and I know that won't last forever
Those big-wigs would like a year-long December
My brain is all no, no, no
But they're just like yeah, yeah, yeah
But I just say no (whoo!)

You know I loathe the glow of lights out of season
I don't have loathin' for the whole Christmas season (no, no, no)
I loathe the dopes who chose (yeah, yeah, yeah)
To pull this each year and (no, no, no)
There's no way, bro, for hope (yeah, yeah, yeah)
That they'll stop doin' this crap (no, no, no)
Yeah, yeah, yeah
It's just sad, it's true (no, no, no)
Can't believe

That they think we like two-month-long Decembers
Cause we don't, it's shite, ev'ry shoppin' centre
Has a load overblown of red and green splendour
It's tacky, don't like (I'm mad and sad)
Two-month-long Decembers (yes, at the same time, yeah-eah-eah-eah)
May think you don't like (no, no, no)
Two-month-long Decembers (yeah, yeah, yeah)
And you would be right (no, no, no)
I'm a worse contender (yeah, yeah, yeah)
In my homeland we don't (no, no, no)
Care 'bout Halloween, sir (yeah, yeah, yeah)
So for us it's like (no, no, no)
Three-month-long December (yeah, yeah, yeah)
My brain is all no, no, no
But they're just like yeah, yeah, yeah
But I just say no (whoo!)

Wish December
Would be one-month, then never
Would those executive jerks
Get two-month-long Decembers

I hinted in the parody that this phenomenon is worse in Australia because we don't really do big Halloween displays, but I didn't mention the fact that Thanksgiving isn't a factor and the decorations are either snowy crap when we're melting or attempts to accommodate the different season that just look tacky. Good thing I'm a nerdy shut-in, eh?

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   3
 5   4

User Comments

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Matthias - September 28, 2015 - Report this comment
This was a really good parody because I too feel the same way even if you do like Christmas the over-commercialization of it ruins it
Abbott Skelding - September 28, 2015 - Report this comment
THIS. IS. PERFECT! This needs to be recorded and given to the masses to warn them of the dangers of getting TOO ready for Christmas. For me, the rule is "No Trees Go Up, No Music is Played, No Cookies Are Made, and No Presents Are Bought Until The Friday AFTER Thanksgiving" (none of this Black Friday creeping into Thursday either!) Well done good sir.

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